Legal Literature: Plot, Character, Action!

Dramatic settings. Readers of yesterday's document are exposed to an array of entities such as Abramoff's law and lobbying firms known variously as "Firm A" and "Firm B," or his private foundation, Capital Athletic Foundation ("CAF"), or other esteemed institutions known as "GRI" and "CCS," all of which could make fertile settings for a novel, screenplay or made-for-TV movie. We watch as a lobbyist is alleged to "corruptly give, offer and promise things of value, including money, meals, trips and entertainment, to public officials and their relatives with the intent to influence. . . ."

Characters. An ensemble that includes a Native American tribe, identified simply as "Mississippi Tribe" and not to be mistaken for "Louisiana Tribe," "Michigan Tribe," "Texas Tribe #1" or "Wireless Company."

We also meet "Representative #1," widely believed to be Republican Bob Ney of Ohio. And a lobbying colleague and former congressional employee known as "Staffer A," who, according to the "criminal information," "successfully solicited one of Firm B's clients, a distilled beverages company, for a $25,000 payment to CAF."

Literary flourishes. "I love the term 'stream of things of value,' " says Tim Grieve, a senior writer for Salon who practiced law for several years. He is referring to a phrase that first appears on Page 9, Paragraph 22, of the charging document. It precedes a list of the various things Abramoff gave Representative #1 and members of his staff ("including but not limited to a lavish trip to Scotland to play golf on world-famous courses, tickets to sporting events. . . .").

Sequel option. Abramoff was nothing if not remorseful as he addressed the court yesterday. "Your honor, words will not be able to ever express how sorry I am for this, and I have profound regret and sorrow for the multitude of mistakes and harm I have caused," he said.

He also made this statement at the conclusion of his plea bargain that, Grieve points out, makes a tidy cliffhanger.

"The preceding statement is a summary, made for the purposes of providing the court with a factual basis for my guilty plea to the charges against me," Abramoff writes. "It does not include all the facts known to me concerning criminal activity in which I and others engaged."

Check your local bookstore or courthouse.