The Family Reunion Trip: It's All Relatives
From Big-City Hotels to Tropical Islands, African Americans Are Thinking Big

By Gary Lee
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, January 8, 2006

Regina Belle raised her velvety voice and belted out a gospel tune that left the Atlanta Hilton ballroom in awed silence. For the Grammy-winning recording artist, the song may not have been as snazzy as "Baby Come to Me," "A Whole New World" or her other smash hits. But the audience -- a biennial gathering of 165 cousins, uncles, aunts and other relatives -- made the performance unforgettably poignant.

"In here, I am not a star. I am one member of an extraordinary family," she said. "And this is no regular meeting. It's an extraordinary reunion."

Was it ever. The three-day Fisher Family Reunion 2005, held Labor Day weekend, included three gospel performances, two moving speeches (including a resounding tribute to the institution of family), a sightseeing excursion, a gourmet candlelight dinner and a Saturday night R&B dance that jammed into Sunday morning.

Spectacular? For sure. Unique? Not really. During the same weekend, 21 other major African American family shindigs were taking place around the Peachtree City, according to the Atlanta Convention & Visitors Bureau.

For African Americans, reunions are the next big thing. The general population may be drawn to increasingly popular couples-only resorts and other venues designed to escape the din of relatives, but African Americans' travel tastes are shifting in the opposite direction. Destination reunions are in. Solo getaways are out.

"The tide of mega-gatherings among African American families is high and rising," said Stephen Criswell, a University of South Carolina professor who has researched the sociology of African American get-togethers. "The more threats that are posed to families by dislocation and other social issues, the stronger the effort to preserve certain rituals like reunions." The gatherings have also evolved from small folksy get-togethers to full scale, carefully orchestrated celebrations.

And the pageantry of African American reunions is flourishing, too, according to Edith Wagner, editor of Reunions Magazine. "The men often sport tuxedos. The woman get dolled up in sorority dresses. And everybody is decked out in fabulous hats. Now I call that an event."

African American Tradition

As part of an Oklahoma-based mini-African American dynasty that includes five brothers, four sisters and dozens of uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews, I am more than familiar with the reunions ritual. Still, I wondered why African Americans will drive halfway across the country to commune with second and third cousins once removed when folks from other cultures want to bolt out the back door when their relatives pull up in the driveway.

What makes African Americans place reunions at the exalted level of weddings and funerals? And how does someone with little experience successfully execute a multi-generational gathering of a clan with all of the branches, factions and issues that most families have?

For answers, I took a close-up look at one family's gathering: the Fishers, a clan with a strong Georgia contingent whose history closely tracks that of many African American families. They are the descendants, by blood or marriage, of Orange and Berry Fisher, two brothers born in the late 1800s in Lancaster County, S.C. Both took up cotton and potato farming and, between them, fathered 16 children. In the late 1940s and '50s, the grandchildren began to migrate to New Jersey and other parts north in search of better jobs. The two brothers died in the 1950s. Their descendants have been meeting every two years since the late 1990s.

Now the Fishers were rolling in, steering everything from Chevys to Land Rovers into the driveway of the Atlanta Hilton. The organizing committee expected between 150 and 200 family members to attend, including several dozen from around Atlanta. The 40-person-strong South Carolina contingent had chartered a bus for the trip. Others had flown in from Washington, Denver and other parts. At the registration desk, they traded hugs and picked up their green-and-gold reunion T-shirts (blue for organizers) and the program for the three-day event.

The kickoff was low-key -- a reception in the Hilton ballroom, followed by a buffet supper of fried chicken, potato salad and baked beans served on paper plates -- but emotions rolled through the room like a strong breeze on a summer morning. Sammy Fisher, 68, and his cousin Frank Cauthen, also in his sixties, embraced until their eyes welled up. Ellen Fisher and Sue Hopkins, cousins with the same infectious guffaw, fell into each other's arms and did a jig. And no wonder: Many attendees hadn't seen one another since the 2003 reunion in Charlotte. "It's like two years of feelings just come tumbling out," Etta explained.

Many had married and taken new surnames: Belle, Cauthen and Crockett, among others. But most still had the broad noses, dark caramel-colored skin and spiritual bearings of Orange and Berry.

"We're just 'come as you are' kind of folks," said Lisa Crockett, 42, the reedy, affable Atlanta computer systems specialist who chaired this year's reunion committee. "We tried to make the tent here big enough that everybody could feel comfortable in it."

When just about any family member spoke, it was clear that the strongest thread that bound them was a respect for family ties. "My grandaddy always talked about how we should all find our way back to be in one place together," said Sammy Fisher, referring to Orange. "In some ways, this is the fulfillment of his dream."

"Berry was a kind man who was devoted to his family more than anything else," added Gertrude Fisher, his 72-year-old granddaughter. "I think we all took some of that spirit from him."

The dinner was followed by an evening of dominoes, blackjack, poker and other games. Saturday would start with the official family meeting, then a sightseeing excursion and, in the evening, a formal dinner and dance. Sunday's centerpiece: a family-led worship service.

Most three-day-weekend reunions are based on this model, according to Lydia Douglas, an official with the Atlanta Convention & Visitors Bureau who helps families plan get-togethers. Some have fashion shows, others genealogy sessions, picnics or other events, she added.

"What special touches a family brings to these events can really make a difference between a memorable occasion and just another gathering," Douglas said.

By the end of the Fisher reunion, I saw what she meant.

The New Wave

African American multi-generational gatherings are hardly a new fad. "They date way back, probably to Africa, to the concept of village gatherings," according to Ione Vargus, professor emerita at Temple University and director of the Family Reunion Institute. "There is a natural tendency among people in the [African American] community to come together, swap stories, devote time to bonding," she explained in an interview.

Criswell, the University of South Carolina professor, said the legacy of slavery most likely contributed to the reunion tradition. "So many families were divided and dispersed in the antebellum years," he said. "The tradition of regrouping grew out of that period and has continued -- and grown -- ever since."

Sociologists agree that Alex Haley's 1976 novel "Roots" was a strong catalyst. The story that traced a family's legacy back to Africa inspired a generation of African Americans to connect with their broad base of relatives.

My family answered the call, too. Beginning in the late 1970s, my maternal grandparents, their 13 children and dozens of grand- and great-grandchildren gathered every other year or so at the family's rambling cotton and peanut farm in central Oklahoma. Grandma Hill would spend a week making okra stew, platters of fried chicken, biscuits as big as your fist, and an array of desserts. Grandpa Hill would sit at the end of a long table and lead the family in grace and feasting. In the afternoon, we'd head down the dusty road for a service at Lone Tree Baptist, a one-room clapboard church. As with many other families, our gatherings fell off in the 1990s.

Although there are no statistical data, anecdotal evidence suggests that the current wave of African American reunions started soon after Sept. 11, 2001, by the account of Criswell and other specialists. "Everybody has felt a need to reaffirm family ties as a result of that event," said Vargus.

Since then, reunions have become more sophisticated, multi-dimensional and, in many cases, grander. Once hosted in private homes or churches, they are now most often held in luxury hotels. Special reunion Web sites and customized T-shirts are also common. Some families form nonprofit associations and use the funds raised to offer scholarships, buy real estate or assist family members in need.

Vargus said that the divisions, rifts and dueling factions that plague all families do not often interfere with African American reunions. One reason, in her view, is the strong religious base of most black families. "Reunions are often heavily infused with spiritual messages," she said. "And that helps the family get through whatever tensions exist, at least long enough for the reunion."

Although totals vary according to the venue and events included, Reunions Magazine estimates that the per-person cost of reunions, including travel, ranges from a few dollars for a basic potluck to more than $1,000 for a more elaborate affair.

The Fishers charged $80 per person for adults and $30 for children, not including travel; kids under 6 were free. That rate included most meals and entertainment; the T-shirts and bus excursion were extra. The total cost was around $10,000, according to Lisa Crockett, the reunion chair.

The current interest in reunions has brought a spate of guides, cookbooks, Web sites and other resources offering advice, and tourism officials in several cities are making a special effort to help families with reunion organizing (see box at right). But Atlanta may be the most popular city.

One big reason is the counsel offered by the Atlanta visitors bureau. It holds three two-day seminars a year on family reunion planning and offers some families financial assistance to attend. Last year, the Atlanta CVB says it helped more than 130 African American families plan reunions.

All in Atlanta

Just past daybreak on Saturday morning, Lisa Crockett stood in the Hilton lobby chatting with early risers. Two years earlier, after the family had agreed on Atlanta as the reunion venue, she and others had organized a committee -- a dozen cousins, brothers, sisters and other relatives. They met twice a month or so, hashing out every detail, down to whether the deejay should play hip-hop or classical soul at the Saturday dance, and whether the T-shirts should be emerald green or regal blue.

The committee also worked closely with the Atlanta CVB, attending its free workshop on reunion planning. Lydia Davis, the bureau's reunion rep, offered advice on where to host the event, and the CVB contributed free tote bags and other giveaways.

Now the first full day of the gathering had begun. Around breakfast time, the official family meeting started in the hotel ballroom. This session, a standard feature of reunions, is where family business is discussed, including geneaology research, legal matters and fundraising concerns. The biggest issue was where to hold the 2007 reunion. The older generation wanted Lancaster, S.C.; the younger set favored an urban setting. Marilyn Fisher, an apartment building manager in D.C., pushed for her city. After much discussion, the reunion torch was passed to the District.

Then, just as one aunt nodded off and others began to chatter, 7-year-old Tiara Crockett pushed her way to the front of the ballroom, flashed an infectious smile and launched into a rendition of the gospel classic "Amazing Grace." Before she started the second verse, the girl paused to look out at the faces of the relatives clustered before her. "Sing it, sister!" a voice called out.

Tiara's performance, punctuated by thunderous applause, set the tone for the rest of the event. One after another, over the course of the day, various family members came forward to entertain the family in song or speech or lead them in prayer.

In the evening, a trio of Fisher sisters from Lancaster danced and crooned gospel songs. Throughout the weekend, Lois Belle, the seventy-something mother of Regina Belle, offered rousing prayers and blessings worthy of the pulpit at a mega-church. During dinner, Richard Wade, 43, a former White House aide now working as a health care lobbyist in Columbia, S.C., offered a tribute to the victims of Hurricane Katrina that left many in the room grabbing for handkerchiefs.

The reunion organizers had deliberately crafted a program that featured a variety of voices. "We wanted everybody to see how fantastically their cousins sing or how well they make speeches," said Doug Crockett, Tiara's father and a reunion committee member. "What better way to generate family pride and inspire the younger generation?"

In the afternoon, many reunion members, visiting Atlanta for the first time, climbed on a bus chartered by the committee to see the city's African American heritage sites. At the first stop, Ebenezer Baptist Church, a guide spoke about the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr., who was pastor of the church during the 1960s. Across the street, at the King Center, the group watched videotapes of civil rights marches. Finally, they stopped at King's tomb, next door to the church.

As the bus rolled back to the hotel, Helene Fisher, 35, a Washington schoolteacher who attended the reunion with her 10-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son, reflected on the excursion. "Of course, these are sights that everyone should see since they are part of our history," she said. "To have seen them with my children and other family members was a particularly rich moment."

Dinner, Dance, Worship

For many, the day's richest moment was the formal dinner and dance at the hotel later that evening. Uncles, aunts and cousins fanned into the hotel ballroom dressed in chic evening gowns and natty suits. Over a dinner of baked salmon, broiled vegetables and petits fours, they listened as Calvin Cauthen paid tribute to the family elders and Sue Hopkins read the names of the eldest and youngest family members, those who had recently graduated from high school and college, and those who had done military duty in Iraq and Afghanistan.

No sooner were the tables cleared and the benediction said than an Atlanta deejay broke out the Aretha Franklin, Sam Cooke and other soul and R&B oldies. The dance floor filled quickly and, for three hours, stayed packed.

"I feel like we're way ahead of the game," Lisa Crockett said, smiling as she surveyed the room. "Whenever you have grandparents and teenagers dancing to the same song, you're doing something right."

No African American reunion is complete without a worship service. For the Fishers, the kind of loyal Baptists who open the church on Sunday mornings, it would be a centerpiece event. And so, early Sunday morning, decked out in stylish dresses, suits and hats, the extended family filed into the ballroom for the last time. As they finished platters of eggs, bacon and biscuits, Regina Belle stood.

As she sang a soulful rendition of "Just a Closer Walk With Thee," a gospel favorite, the room fell silent. Then her husband, John Battle, a former Atlanta Hawks basketball star and now an ordained minister, took the microphone and, in a commanding voice, read from the Scriptures. In the rich tradition of Atlanta ministers, he exhorted the offspring of Berry and Orange Fisher to never forget how the power of connecting with the higher being can help them through hardships. "Always keep a prayer on file" was his refrain.

After Battle's sermon, many faces in the crowd were covered with tears. Other family members seemed pensive. Eventually, though, they began to chat with one another. Three days of reconnecting, dancing, touring and laughing had bonded them, and it was hard for them to get up and leave.

Gary Lee will be online to discuss this story Monday at 2 p.m. during the Travel section's regular weekly chat onhttp://www.washingtonpost.com.