From N. Potomac Author, Advice On Passive-Aggressive Bosses

By Michael S. Rosenwald
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, January 12, 2006

Everyone has had one: a passive-aggressive boss.

The boss tells you to spend more time out of the office. When it's time for a promotion, you're denied. The reason: You're not around enough.

"It's those mixed messages that drive people crazy," said North Potomac author Loriann Hoff Oberlin.

And Oberlin is there to help. Along with Tim Murphy, a Republican congressman from Pennsylvania and co-chairman of the Congressional Mental Health Caucus, Oberlin recently published a book called "Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger From Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness."

"So often anger is right out there. You know what it is," Oberlin said. "Passive-aggressive behavior is what it is -- it's known for what you don't do. It's promising to do something and then never following through. Your talk doesn't match your walk."

Workplace passive-aggressive behavior is particularly dangerous in that it can make a person feel stuck, so much so that it produces the same sort of behavior an employee is trying to overcome.

So when it comes to dealing with this behavior in bosses, Oberlin has some suggestions.

Let's say, for instance, you get a snide e-mail from your boss. (And who hasn't?)

Most important, don't respond right away. "Give yourself some distance," Oberlin said. "If you reply in a knee-jerk way, your anger will show through. And if you acknowledge the behavior in a nasty way, you are just feeding the problem."

Also, try to acknowledge how you are feeling, not how the boss is making you feel. It's an important distinction. "You want to speak in I-statements," Oberlin said. "I feel this. I feel that. Not 'you did this' and 'you did that.' "

And when you ask questions in response, ask what and how questions, not why questions.

"Why questions put people on the defensive," Oberlin said. "Don't use them."

So far, reaction to the book has been positive.

Oberlin said: "Some people say, 'Oh my God -- I need five copies of this book.' Or people say, 'Oh boy. I know that person.' "

Biotech Firm, Olympus Seek Test

Cangen Biotechnologies, a small Bethesda biotech firm, is expanding its collaboration with a very large company -- Tokyo-based Olympus Corp., the well-known maker of cameras and digital medical devices.

The two companies are trying to develop a DNA- and protein-based test to detect lung cancer in its early stages. The new deal includes funding to study the test in humans.

"With our partners at Olympus, we have made dramatic progress over the last six months in the development of the test and platform for the early detection of lung cancer," said Chul So Moon, Cangen's chief executive. "This additional commitment by Olympus to support the clinical development of our lung cancer detection technology underscores the viability of the technology as a key tool in saving human life."

Marriott Makes Fortune List

Marriott International Inc., the Bethesda hotel chain operator, has been selected by Fortune magazine for its annual list of "Best Companies to Work For" -- the ninth consecutive year the company has been chosen.

Marriott was the only Maryland company to be included on the list.

The magazine noted that 20 percent of Marriott's employees have worked at the company for more than 10 years and that 5,000 employees have at least 20 years of service.

"We are gratified to be on Fortune's list and continually strive to make Marriott not just a great and successful company, but a great and rewarding place to work," said Brendan Keegan, Marriott's executive vice president for human resources.

Chamber Called 'Unsung Hero'

The Gaithersburg-based Victims' Rights Foundation has honored the Montgomery County Chamber of Commerce with its "Unsung Hero" award for its role in helping the county deal with the sniper attacks of 2002.

The national foundation lauded the chamber for quickly swinging into action by providing information to residents and businesses. The chamber also raised money for a reward fund and for distribution to victims' families.

Have business news about Montgomery County? Send an e-mail torosenwaldm@washpost.com.