Sunday, April 29, 2007
More Honorable Mentions for Week 705 of The Style Invitational, in which we asked readers to write things using only the words in "The Cat in the Hat," or words consisting of combinations thereof:
It is always a hit-and-run thing for me. I hit on them and they run away from me. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
"Want some tail?" asked the man. "You will like her, I know."
So Sunny came to me and said, "Let us go."
She got out of her gown. "I do not have all day."
She sat on the bed and said, "Now let us play."
We did not get it on. You would think that I could --
But my shame and my fear did not let me get wood.
-- H. Caulfield, no fixed address (Ned Andrews, Danville, Va.)
What they say at NOW: "It is good when they are gone; we do well without them. But not always. They do have one thing we want now and then." (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Mother, you play a sad game. You find these cold fish and make them your pink playthings. You shame us -- me, Sally, Pat. We go white when we hear something new. "She did what? With who? When?" We wish you would stop, but no. Deep down, you know the day will come when your tricks run out. Not for nothing do they call you the Fox. (Rory Ewins, Edinburgh, Scotland)
Gore'd have you think that he came up with the In-for-mat-i-on High-way and that he was on top in two-oh-oh-oh. Well, let me tell you, it was me who made us what we are to-day. -- G.W.B., Washington (Kevin Dopart) [Gore'd: go-red, see?]
I do not like it when the sun go down.
No, I do not like it when that sun go down.
It make me think of Sally in her gown.
My Sally mess about with some bad man,
Oh, my Sally mess about with that bad man,
I did them in, and now I in the can.
-- W. C. Handy, St. Louis (Valerie Matthews, Ashton, Md.)
Something in the way she bumps
Has got me like no other mother.
Something in the way she thumps me.
Do not want to blame her now.
You know I can tame her now. (Randy Lee, Burke)
This cat (we call him "Bumps") did this bit about Tall Sally. It went kind of like "Oh, be-be/ Yes, yes, yes, be-be/ Who-who-who, be-be," and it said that we would have some fun when the sun went down. Man, with that hook, it was a big, BIG hit. And it was a fast mother, too -- it made me jump and shake my tail when it would play at hops. (Bob Dalton, Arlington)
What You Should Know: "Big": funny, a hit; "A.I.": sad, some bumps, see it; "High Noon": from way back, good; "To Have and Have Not": this is good, too); "Hook" (Oh no! Two thumps down!); "Them": So bad it had to be good. (Kevin Dopart)
The house is cold, with little here
That we can do for kicks;
A ship came in, and mother's gone
To shake her tail for tricks.
Oh Sally, we should go -- I fear
The mess will hit the fan,
If any of that lot find out
That mother is a man. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)
Here are some things my man in the White House should say to the head of I-ran:
You are in deep do-do, and it is about to hit the fan.
Look, I have had it up to here with you. Get bent!
I could see to it that As-sad kicks your tail all the way to Tall-a-has-see.
-- Dennis Miller, Hollywood (Chris Doyle)
He said, "Why do we have to have this bad fish dish? It is cold and wet. Look at it shake -- a cat would not want that!"
She said, "My mother made it, so shut up." Plop! -- Rabbi G. Filte, Brooklyn (Kevin Dopart)