All the Right People

Ooops.

Bush continued, according to excerpts from the script: "It's always good to see Vice President Cheney. Lynne and Laura were out of town recently, so I called up Dick and said, 'Why don't we go to a movie?' "He said, 'Great idea, let's go to a cowboy movie.' "

Pause.

"Yep, finally went to see 'Brokeback Mountain.' Let me tell you. Whooo-eee.

"Dick sat through the movie, didn't say a word. We come out, after a while. He says. . . . 'Nice horses.' I said, 'Yep.' Then he became real quiet again and kind of serious.

"I knew something was on his mind. Finally he turned to me and said . . . ."

Pause.

"You don't suppose the Lone Ranger and Tonto. . . . "

And we assumed they laughed, because this one was funny.

Bush joked about the Jack Abramoff scandal. "Now I also note from the seating chart that Alfalfa has its normal share of billionaires in the audience. By the way, one of the things that surprised me about the Abramoff scandal is how much money some of the Indian tribes have. In fact, it wasn't until tonight that I learned that Warren Buffett and David Rockefeller are Chippewas."

Bush continued cracking them up, joking about his current state of political affairs.

"You know," he said, according to the script, "you can't please some people no matter what you do. Half the time, they say I'm isolated and don't listen. Then when I do listen, they say I need a warrant."

And he reportedly closed with a note on what happened at the Supreme Court confirmation hearings for Judge Samuel Alito. "And let me clear up something else. I do not support torture . . . which is why from now on we're abolishing Senate confirmation hearings."

And in answer to the many inquiring minds wanting to know why Alito's wife burst out of that hearing crying, Bush explained: "Martha Alito won America's heart. What a warm and wonderful woman. I talked to her. You wanna know what really caused her to cry at those hearings?

"Boredom."