ASK AMY

Thursday, February 2, 2006

Dear Amy:

I am the mom of a wonderful 3-year-old. I feel like I am the only mom in my area who does not send her 3-year-old to preschool.

Is it an academic requirement that children attend preschool?

We go to the library for story time and attend play groups. My son knows his numbers, colors, etc.

My son will be almost 6 when he starts kindergarten.

If I were to send him to preschool now, he'd have three years of "school" before kindergarten!

When I'm asked if he is attending preschool, my response is: "No, I'm keeping him to myself."

Is this being selfish?

Why should I pay to send him to preschool when I could send him to day care? Preschool and day care are the same thing, right?

No Preschool for Me

Preschool and day care are not the same. Preschool and day care generally have different hours of operation, staff that have different certifications and qualifications, different standards regarding the ratio of staff to kids and different age ranges of children who attend.

It is your choice whether to send your son to preschool. Story time, play groups and time with you are all vital to his emotional and intellectual development.

According to a statement by Zero to Three, a child advocacy group, "Learning social skills is certainly very important for young children. The more experience they have interacting with peers, the more they learn about how to get along with others, and the richer their world becomes as they develop new relationships." My own experience as a mom and as a substitute teacher at a preschool convinced me that 3-to-5-year-olds can benefit from a quality preschool experience -- partly because they can learn these "pro-social" skills independently of their parents.

If you are not sending your son to preschool because you want to keep him to yourself, then that seems like a stifling choice if he could otherwise be enrolled in an enriching preschool program. If you are not sending him to preschool because he's fine right where he is, then more power to both of you.

Dear Amy:

A recent letter from "Bad Neighbor in Maryland" prompted me to write. She was worried about the condition of her house in a nice neighborhood.

She should focus on the outside front of the house.

Even little kids can help. It takes little money to clean up, rake up, weed, prune and perhaps slap a coat of paint on the mailbox.

A focused half-hour here and there makes progress.

The neighbors will be thrilled to see any progress on the outside, especially if the house has been an eyesore.

Suzanne

I agree that a half-hour of energy can reap big payoffs -- especially when it is concentrated in one area.

Dear Amy:

Here are my tips on how to make a man happy.

Love him, feed him and listen to him. My husband and I share responsibilities at home. He cleans, does the shopping; I work outside the home; and we both cook. We enjoy each other sensually, travel, have spiritual beliefs and respect and truly enjoy each other's company. We have been together for seven years and have rarely had a spat, but it has taken both of us 30 years of other relationships to learn this.

Beth

Thirty years doesn't seem too long in the scheme of things to learn how to make someone happy. Some people never figure it out. Well done!

Write to Amy Dickinson ataskamy@tribune.comor Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

2006by the Chicago Tribune Distributed by Tribune Media Services Inc.