Ancient Divorce Laws' Modern Quandary

Sarah Rosenbloom cannot date without violating tenets of her faith. (Lois Raimondo - Twp)

Divorce is forbidden among Catholics, though a marriage can be annulled if a church tribunal rules that it never existed -- if, for example, one party lacked the capacity to consent or it was never consummated. The Vatican issued a streamlined procedure last year for Catholics seeking an annulment. Among the changes was one that allows a church appeals court to uphold an annulment even if it disagrees with the initial tribunal on the reasons the marriage should be voided.

Vatican officials emphasized that the changes were merely bureaucratic and that the grounds for annulments had not changed, although they said the number of annulments granted in the United States has gone from fewer than 350 in 1968 to tens of thousands in recent years.

Southern Baptists launched their own debate about divorce in 2000 when Charles Stanley, past president of the Southern Baptist Convention and a popular television preacher, got divorced.

Long-standing tradition in that denomination holds that men are disqualified from being pastors once they divorce, based on the biblical mandate that ministers be "blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior." But some questioned how to apply those words, and an official at Stanley's church in Atlanta said to loud applause that Stanley would stay in his position, his "personal pain" having validated his ability to minister.

Debate over divorce has increased in the Orthodox Jewish community as efforts to help such women as Rosenbloom have escalated in recent years. In addition to the use of prenuptials and annulments, New York's legislature has passed laws that put Jewish men who won't grant a religious divorce at a disadvantage in their civil divorce. Maryland lawmakers introduced similar legislation unsuccessfully for four straight years in the late 1990s; opponents said it was an unconstitutional mixing of church and state.

The Jewish Press, one of the nation's largest Jewish newspapers, each week runs the names of men who have divorce-related court orders against them in an effort to embarrass them.

"The agunah problem is a very serious one. [It] is one aspect of a greater recognition of family problems that maybe we've been sweeping under the carpet," said Rabbi Irving Breitowitz, a University of Maryland law professor who wrote a book about agunah. "We are bound by the principles, but we can try to devise new mechanisms."

Among the protests held by agunah advocates was one a week ago at Sam Rosenbloom's home in Gaithersburg. A dozen people came out in the rain and began, as usual, with a prayer from the book of Psalms, asking God to hear their plea.

"Sam Rosenbloom, give your wife a get ," they chanted. The protests started two years ago and have occurred almost weekly for the past month.

But is this what God intended? To Naomi Klass Mauer, an editor at the Jewish Press and a former agunah, the problem is not God or the law but human beings.

"There is no way the intention would be that a woman should be held up," said Mauer, whose ex-husband withheld a get for four years. "But there are a lot of laws I don't fully understand the reason for, but I believe. I believe that the Torah is divine law. Whether or not I can understand everything with my finite ability -- it would be nice. But just because I can't doesn't mean that I am going to discount the law or pick and choose."

Sarah Rosenbloom also said the experience has not shaken her faith. "Can people pervert the law? Yes, and that's what Sam is doing," she said.

Sam Rosenbloom does not see it that way. He believes the Orthodox community took his wife's side because they felt he was not observant enough. Harsh, untrue things were said about him, he said, adding that when Sarah apologizes and tells "the truth," she will get her divorce. To him, that seems in line with God's intention.

"It's not a matter of complying with the [Jewish court] or a Jewish thing at all. It's about me being devalued as a human being," said Rosenbloom, who was raised in the less strict Conservative Jewish denomination. "I personally look to religion as a moral compass. But I am an independent thinker."

His ex-wife said she sees religion more as a rule book than a compass.

"Look, I don't think it's supposed to be that we say, 'This is God's will,' and we just sit there. I think we are supposed to put forth our maximum effort," she said, noting that in addition to the protests in front of her ex-husband's house, several Maryland rabbis have told their congregants not to buy from an Internet site on which he sells religious goods. "And I pray. I pray a lot."