By Michael J. Toscano
Special to The Washington Post
Thursday, February 9, 2006; PW03
"Rumor" rhymes with "humor," but that's about as close as Castaways Repertory Theatre in Woodbridge comes to getting laughs with its production of "Rumors," a purported comedy from Broadways' erstwhile king of comedy, Neil Simon.
"Rumors" landed splat on Broadway in 1988, just about the time Simon seemed to run out of ideas and stumble into an extended creative decline. "Rumors" is Simon's 23rd play, and the strain of churning out new shows year after year is quite evident here.
Rather than crafting sharply etched characters and a story that speaks to his trademark modern urban neuroses, Simon reached back to his early days as a television comedy sketch writer and stretched what might have been a decent eight-minute comedy skit into a bland two-hour play.
The premise is promising. A couple arrive at a posh home for the hosts' 10th anniversary party. But they find the wife absent, the servants gone and the husband in his bedroom, an apparent gunshot wound to his ear.
As other guests, all married couples, arrive, the first couple decide to cover up what has occurred. Farce is then supposed to build as the deception and attendant cover-ups multiply and suck each of the dinner guests into the whirl.
Unfortunately for Simon, farce needs a credible basis upon which the comic events can sprout, and he doesn't supply plausibility for the guests' actions. He merely trots out several neurotic tendencies as a substitute for character development and then rolls with setups and punch lines for two hours.
"Rumors" can be partially salvaged into something that is at least watchable and gets some laughs, mostly from the slapstick elements, but only if talented actors are cast, the kind of performers who can quickly ground characters in reality and then stretch them to comic proportions. The cast also needs a director who understands the intricate mechanism of comic timing and energy.
None of that happens here. The result is long stretches without laughter. For most of the play, the only sounds coming from the audience are the clearing of throats and people shifting in seats.
The cast's primary problem is egregious overacting. The 10-member cast is quite high-energy, but all that accomplishes is to make the terrible acting louder. This play is not subtle; it's supposed to be zany and even frenzied at times. But these actors attack, rather than approach, the material.
The ham level is so high and so consistent that the fault must substantially lie with director Ted Ballard, who seems to have a tin ear for comedy, particularly farce. He has the actors emoting at such a high pitch from the moment each appears onstage that there's nowhere for them to go once the plot starts to ratchet up.
There are some mildly amusing moments. Bob Cohen occasionally finds his bearings and gets a few laughs as Lenny Ganz, an accountant suffering from whiplash, the result of a car accident on the way to the party. His character has an extensive monologue in which he tries to invent a plausible story for the police. It's the kind of potential showstopper that makes the monologue a favorite for actors to use at auditions. Although Cohen's is not a bravura performance, it is good enough to generate applause, for his hard work if nothing else.
Tom Hannon's set is lovely, a solid and detailed two-level house interior that oozes casual elegance. It's constructed much better than Simon's play.
"Rumors" continues through Feb. 18 at Ferlazzo Building, 15941 Donald Curtis Dr., Woodbridge. Performances at 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays and 1 p.m. Saturday. For information or tickets, call 703-508-5418 or go tohttp://www.castawaystheatre.org.
