La Dolce Vita
Summing Up Day 1
Saturday, February 11, 2006; Page E11
So let's get this straight.
They don't want our IOC executives (so long, Jim Easton and Anita DeFrantz) or our balding skeletonista (see you, Zach Lund) or our national pastime ( arrivederci , baseball) but they do want our 1970s music?
  (Adam Berry - Bloomberg News) |
"Funkytown." Wagner, right?
The Opening Ceremonies tried -- and, sadly, succeeded -- in pulling us into Dante's "Inferno" last night. We were transported back to the sweet life of our tuneless youth, plunging down The Slippery Slide's namesake, drink in one hand, dignity in the other, onto that flashing dance floor and, yes, boogieing. We honest to God boogied, to the same hit list that played during the Parade of Nations, albeit in a lot uglier clothing than those fortunate athletes.
"Good Times." "Le Freak." "I Will Survive." All blared into the Turin night. These people were bombed to pieces during the war; haven't they suffered enough?
Apparently not, and neither have we. Reminders of our teenage years were all around. Boring lessons about the Renaissance. Interpretive dance. Cows on skates. It's like they read our diary, circa 1976. We half-expected them to park that Ferrari behind a haystack and fog up the windows.
At least we didn't have to watch a woman give birth. We still have not managed to delete from our mental hard drive that image from similar folderol in Athens two years ago. Happily, biology took a back seat this year, and rightly so. Let's keep sex in chat rooms where it belongs.
Speaking of sex, we were disappointed that Alberto Tomba did not light the flame. We are still somewhat dazed at seeing him ask Matt Lauer to squeeze his thigh during the "Today" show Thursday morning. Thank heavens Katie didn't do that segment. They'd have been scrubbing perky off the piazza stones for weeks.
Speaking of Italian hunks, we must admit that, while still disliking opera intensely, ol' Pavarotti has got some pipes. But why no disco? He's halfway there, with that getup. All he needs is a tune. We would put "La Boheme" in the leadoff spot on the iPod if that raven-haired rake would do one chorus of "YMCA."
When we dream of the sweet life, that's the halftime show.
GEOGRAPHICAL UPDATE
We boarded a bus this morning and asked the man in the front seat if it was going to the Main Press Center.
