For Fall, Only Donna Karan Delivers

Throughout the show, one kept wondering who exactly might be enticed into wearing these clothes. The average woman would most likely feel too exposed, too fussy in all that unsubstantial, yet ornately treated chiffon. An actress heading down the red carpet would be warned off the collection by her stylist. Kathy Griffin and every tabloid and blog would hold her up for mockery. Isaac Mizrahi would accost her breasts.

One can't even imagine Gwyneth Paltrow, who has worn confections by Alexander McQueen and Balenciaga, in these clothes. If not Gwyneth, then who?

A designer certainly doesn't -- and perhaps shouldn't -- have a particular customer in mind as he designs. He has to follow his creative spirit. His passion and conviction should guide him. Still, there has to be some inner voice -- the same one that helps him balance his own checkbook -- that keeps him from allowing creativity to ambush the reality of women's lives and the responsibility one has to the name on the label. That name is Calvin Klein, not Francisco Costa.

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Which is worse, a designer who pushes his creativity too far, or one who doesn't bother to even tap into his? Designer Ralph Lauren presented his collection Friday morning in front of an audience that included his family, possible family-member-to-be Lauren Bush and the actresses Joy Bryant and Halle Berry. Olive green dominated the line. Call it the "Loden Collection," not to be confused with last fall's "Gray Collection" or the "Camel Collection" before that or the "White Collection" before that. Lauren's fall collection was equestrian, Tyrolean, all-American and altogether too familiar. Olive plaid fitted blazer, loden wool skirts, light green leggings and sage-colored turtleneck gowns with floor-sweeping hemlines. Lauren never turns his aesthetic topsy-turvy from one season to the next. But there are usually subtle tweaks, a more refined silhouette or a surprising bit of eveningwear. Everything in this collection seemed dusty with history -- Lauren's own.

The few pieces of black velvet had been transformed from heavy to leaden thanks to an overuse of gold braid and trim. The effect was too theatrical and gave the clothes a stuffy, period costume look. The designer walked out to take his bows in a sweater and a pair of brown leather trousers with buttons and fringe along the side and looking quite like he'd just strolled in from Brokeback Mountain. Lauren believes in costuming. He believes that a woman can transform herself simply by dressing the part. For him, the entire world is a stage. But one wishes that he'd offered a new story line for fall.

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The shows here ended with the debut of Karl Lagerfeld's new signature collection -- a modestly priced, mass appeal brand. The line is geared toward both men and women and has a distinctly urban sensibility, with its concentration on black, brown and gray. The men wear slim jeans that hang off their rear end, not because they are too big but because the models do not have glutei maximi to fill them out.

There are starched white shirts with shawl collars and sweaters punched full of holes. The women's skirts are long, their sweaters overstretched and the overall attitude rather dour.

Nevertheless, if this collection is well-priced, it will offer customers a more world-weary take on sportswear than they can currently find in the department store world of cropped tops, satin dresses and designer sweat suits.

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Earlier this week ugly struck. Women strutted around fashion shows with faces so stretched and pumped full of Botox they looked as though they were wearing a mask. Ex-model and ex-celebrity judge Janice Dickinson strutted about with a teased up pompadour that made her look like a rooster with a dye job. And designer Bryan Bradley of Tuleh and the team behind Badgley Mischka presented collections that were disconcertingly unattractive.