In 2010, Vancouver Will Be ... Vancouver

Tim Ryan, on Alpine skiing: "Il non convenzionali Bode Miller sono caduto, ma si alza. Ed è caduto ancora, ma si alza ancora, ed è giù ancora una volta, ma si alza ancora! Ed attraversa la linea di rivestimento nel tempe dell'annotazione del mondo -- uh, e quell'alcool odore I sul suo alito?"

("The unconventional Bode Miller has fallen down, but he gets up. And he's fallen down again, but he gets up again, and he's down yet again, but again he gets up! And he crosses the finish line in world record time -- uh, is that alcohol I smell on his breath?")

Don Chevrier, on curling: "Vogliatemi bene, un bene piccolino, un bene de bambino quale a me si conviene, vogliatemi bene."

("He swept the ice surface really well with that broom.")

Dick Button, figure skating commentator: "La mia qualita, che cosa un bello, strano, meraviglioso, sorprendente, grazioso, elegante, squisito, notevole, fantastico, magnifico, delizioso, glorioso, estasiando, tremendo, incredibile double axel triple salchow, il la cosa migliore che ho visto mai!!!"

("Wow!!!")

Ask The Slouch

Q. NBC and Disney were involved in a blockbuster trade in which NBC got Al Michaels and Disney got Ryder Cup rights and Olympic highlights for ESPN, plus Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Is it true that Oswald, being a 10-plus year veteran, is holding up the deal? (Stu Tentoni; Delafield, Wis.)

A. Actually, this essentially was an Al Michaels-for-Oswald the Lucky Rabbit swap, and boy oh boy, what a lopsided trade. Michaels is younger, better-spoken and near his prime. As for Oswald the Lazy Rabbit -- the hare hasn't worked in at least 50 years -- trust me, he's no Bugs Bunny.

Q. If Janet Jones was making sports bets, doesn't Wayne Gretzky have to dump her ASAP? (Ronnie Lee; Oakland, Calif.)

A. To each his own -- one of the things that ended my first marriage was that she wouldn't make bets.

Q. I've heard that the World Series of Poker will be enacting a dress code. My question: How long do unemployment benefits run where you reside? (George Vary; Bethesda)

A. Sure, I buy my T-shirts at Target. What, I need to be Giorgio Armani to call a spade a spade?

Q. To me, watching bowling is a lot like omphaloskepsis -- you could look it up. (Frank Mason; Round Lake Beach, Ill.)

A. Yeah, I looked it up and I didn't much like it.

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