La Dolce Vita

Summing Up Day 7

(Brian Bahr - Getty Images)

Ah, the Olympics, where every two years the people of the world come together, get on each other's nerves and then retreat to their respective corners, happier in the knowledge that things are worse elsewhere.

Elsewhere being wherever it is that all these annoying people came from.

We're nearing the midway point of the Games, at least from the media perspective. It's that time in the Olympic cycle when you realize that the competitions are overblown, the athletes are overbearing and you didn't pack enough jeans. And then the critical question becomes:

Can you trust the laundry service to get your things back before Closing Ceremonies?

One thing becomes apparent around the media center at this point: Overheated buses and no laundromats make Johnny a stinky boy.

Trust us, passion doesn't live here anymore.

The odor from the media center is so overwhelming, it's burning a hole in the ozone and violating the Kyoto Protocol.

Well, okay, that's the Olympic caldron, but seriously, if the gas from the flame meets the stench from this place, it'll be a bigger stink bomb than poor Johnny Weir's long program.

Environmentalists want the flame, which consumes 1,500 cubic meters of natural gas per hour, turned down, which led to this bit of insight from a spokesman for Turin organizers:

"If you reduce it too little then there's no visible change, if you reduce it too much you risk extinguishing it. It's not the same as using a burner at home."

It's not the same as using a burner at home? A 200-foot-tall caldron is not the same as using a burner at home? Shut up! So you guys aren't using it to cook risotto?

And we're surprised they can't make the buses run on time.