Schaefer's Antics: Maybe He Should Charge Admission

By Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts
Sunday, February 19, 2006

William Donald Schaefer -- bully or ham?

That was the question last week after the Maryland comptroller leered at a young state aide in front of a crowded room, asking her to "walk again" so he could gaze at her backside. It was typical of the former governor and Baltimore mayor's three-decade track record of egomaniacal spectacle -- dressing like Elvis at state banquets, throwing kicking-and-fist-pounding tantrums on the floor of City Hall, dropping trousers in front of lawmakers.

· July 1981: To make up for his failure to open the new Baltimore aquarium on time, the mayor jumps into the seal pool in an old-fashioned bathing suit, and splashes about with a "mermaid" model.

· January 1987: The newly elected governor marks his departure for Annapolis by stepping into a crate labeled "Baltimore's Gift to Maryland," which is lifted onto a ship. He then emerges, dressed in a white officer's uniform.

· November 1990: When a motorist flips him an unfriendly gesture, Schaefer traces her name and address through state records, writes her saying "your action only exceeds the ugliness of your face."

· February 1991: The governor asks Eastern Shore legislators, "How's that [out]house of an Eastern Shore?" Apologizes after 10 days of protest.

· March 1991: Angered by critical letters to the editor, Schaefer has state troopers drive him unannounced to the writer's home and harangues him for an hour.

· December 1991: The governor sends Christmas cards to two activist opponents with photos of them at a statehouse protest; the recipients call the mailings "intimidating."

· March 1993: At a news conference calling for a ban on some firearms, Schaefer points a 9mm pistol (unloaded, it turned out) at an AP reporter. "Some of you have never had it in your face. . . . I don't know what would happen to your pants, but I can imagine."

· August 2001: Midway through his first term as state comptroller, Schaefer calls his gubernatorial successor, Parris Glendening, a "chicken" at a public hearing, makes "cluck-cluck-cluck" noises, flaps his arms.

· May 2004: In another public-hearing rant, the comptroller gripes about a McDonald's cashier who had trouble speaking English. "I don't want to adjust to another language. . . . They ought to adjust to us." Despite an outcry, he never apologizes and instead prints bumper stickers: "Schaefer: He says what you think."

How about: "Schaefer: The Shtick's Getting Old."

Sorry, You're Not on the List

One in an occasional series of dispatches from parties you should have crashed.

Site: East Building of the National Gallery of Art.

Occasion: Opening of the dada exhibit (see review in today's Arts section).

Crowd: Well-heeled donors and lenders, artsy types with chunky eyeglasses or flowing, asymmetrical skirts.

Coolest guests: Ruth Marion Ricarda Ball (niece of dada founder Hugo Ball ), Jacqueline Matisse-Monnier (granddaughter of Henri Matisse and stepdaughter of Marcel Duchamp ), Alfred Pacquement , director of the Pompidou Center.

Food: Dadalicious! Foie gras lollipops, marshmallows made to look like cheeses, champagne jello "martinis" with green grape garnish, tiny crunchy cones filled with Caesar salad, and brownies with decorative eyeballs -- artfully presented on a conveyor belt and a vertical buffet.

Bar: Open! Marvelous irony-free champagne cocktails.

Sign this may be livelier than your average museum party: "I'm here to make sure no one falls down the stairs," said a staffer standing guard in the exhibit.

Minor quibble : "They could have had dancing," a staff research scholar sighed.

Freebie: 6 1/2 -pound exhibition catalogue.

Readers Tell Us

Monroe, Mich., writes : Why do gossip columns focus so little attention on black celebrities? Beyond Halle Berry, Denzel Washington and Jamie Foxx, there is little reported on black celebrities. Why does this bias continue?

A thoughtful, complicated question worthy of a dissertation, but here's our theory: coin and ratings. A lot of the gossipy glossy magazines focus almost exclusively on a tiny cluster of hot couples ( Brad/Angelina, Tom/Katie, Nick/Jennifer ) because they lead to big sales. It also depends who's in the spotlight promoting a hot movie, show or record. Of course, there's the whole other issue of whether it's a good thing to be gossiped about ( Britney, Lindsay, Paris ). A lot of A-list celebs ( Beyonce, Denzel ) don't show up in gossip columns often because they purposely lead mostly private, gossip-proof lives. Fortunately, they're few and far between, or we'd be out of a job!

Send your thesis to reliablesource@washpost.com .

Amerie, the Beautiful

Since we spotlighted hip-hot princess Amerie before the Grammys, our colleague J. Freedom du Lac chided us for not sharing her cut-down-to-there red-carpet look (champagne-color hand-beaded Armani gown, Fred Leighton diamond-and-pearl jewelry) at the award show. Here's her "after" picture (with assistance from stylist, makeup and hair pros), which gives us an excuse to show her way "before" picture from the Georgetown yearbook six years ago.