Climbing the Great Wall, We Will Persist in 2006

The following was posted Jan. 4, 2006, by Zhao Jing on "Anti's Blog" after Microsoft deleted his blog:

I am a person whose emotional reactions are delayed. It's a way of protecting my sensitive heart. Friends all know that the heartless way I deal with things isn't actually heartless. It's just that I begin to feel my own delayed emotions a few hours later. This kind of simpleton appears quite brave, jumping into all kinds of danger, only realizing hours later that he completely lacks any courage.

On the afternoon that Microsoft deleted my Space, I felt nothing at all. A few days earlier, I was talking with students at Beijing University. Someone asked if MSN Spaces would be blocked because of my influence. My response was that when the warning came, Microsoft would of course sell me out first, so everyone can rest easy using MSN Spaces. I felt this day coming coming for a long time. In the last few days, traffic exceeded 15,000 hits per day. Then, suddenly everything was deleted. [Expletive] the Great Wall, [expletive] Microsoft. I will get even with Microsoft.

At night, I cried.

It is difficult to be a free Chinese person. My blog has been shut down twice in a year, all because I gave support to the media (the China Youth Daily, the Beijing News). I told a journalist in Hong Kong that I understand the limits. The problem is that when media colleagues face adversity, as a member of the journalism community, I have an obligation to support them as soon as possible. In the face of this kind of moral duty, there is no need to say much about personal limits. People can live precisely and technically, but people must also have a side that disregards everything and shows their true character.

But in China, this kind of character carries a price. A harmonious society does not need any negative news. In the next few years, journalists like us will find our space shrinking. More and more college students graduating in computer studies will sell their intellect to the devil and build a new man-made wonder of the world -- the Great Firewall. Now they fully employ Internet technologies to search for and track all blog articles and discussion forum posts that contain certain keywords. They then close them or order them deleted. The year-long period of freedom in the Chinese blogosphere has come to an end. I repeat my oath: To those who take part in the construction of the Great Wall, unless you can destroy all your files and historical records, I will eventually have a chance to make each of you regret it for the rest of your lives. Because the damage you cause to the knowledge and freedom of modern Chinese people is no less than that of the Cultural Revolution. Don't count on good luck. Look at East Germany. Look at the former Soviet Union. Look at Iraq. You don't live for just ten years. You have to live your whole life. Your children will also know exactly what you have done, whether it is honorable or shameful. We write our own histories, one stroke at a time.

The Great Wall is long, but not longer than life. The Great Wall is hard, but not harder than determination. I have faith that everything will repaid in the end.

When speech is banned it is a good time to listen carefully. Some friends and I recently discussed the future of the Internet. It's fantastic, in fact. In 2005, I forged ahead with the blog, but rarely took time to observe the friends around me. Outstanding distributed Web use based on social networking, such as An Zhu's One Kilogram More, Yang Bo's Douban, Sourceforge and some of Google's new services are all inspirational to the newly voiceless me.

I have been depressed for many days, but this has been time to nurse my wounds. I will start again in 2006, and return to posting at http://anti.blog-city.com. Friends in mainland China can use RSS software to subscribe to http://feeds.feedburner.com/blog-city/anti, or send email to antisblog@gmail.com to subscribe. I will send my entries to subscribers. I hope that everyone can help me announce these subscription methods on your blogs.

This kind of blogging will have a smaller audience. In 2006, I will blog for just my friends and faithful subscribers. Bidding farewell to noisy 2005, I hope to do some practical things in 2006. For example, I will formally transform AEB (Anti's English Blog) into Chinathinkbase.com and put effort into perfecting it. I may also do some Web projects based on social networking (of course, including the perfection of the organization and thoughts in that book). I hope to change Anti the blogger of 2005 into Anti the programmer of 2006.

The winter night is long, and we must prepare for a long march. In 2006, we will not triumph, but we will be more steadfast.