Notes from Underground

Metro Riders Share Their Favorite Subterranean Stories

Everyone, it seems, has a story about the odd, funny, occasionally disturbing things they've witnessed on Metro. There must be something about riding the rails that brings out hilarious, loopy or simply clueless behavior in people.

Last month, we asked readers to share their most interesting experiences. And now that Metro has a new interim general manager, we think Dan Tangherlini (who took over the job Feb. 16) would like to know something about the transportation system he has inherited -- beyond overcrowding, cost overruns and delays. Of course, some of the stories we received we can't print in a family newspaper, but many we can. Here are our favorites:

BIZARRO

It was a scene right out of Johnny Knoxville's "Jackass." I got on the train at the Tenleytown Red Line stop. Two other individuals got on the train and proceeded to put on a show. At each stop, the two young males stepped off the train and beat each other up until the train was ready to go, and then they jumped back on. For six straight stops they continued and then finally got off the train for good.

-- Ryan Studner, Washington

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

A few years ago, I was riding on the Red Line during the morning rush. It was a dreary morning in mid-winter, and everyone on the train was -- as usual -- absorbed in their own thoughts, headphones, newspapers and paperbacks.

As the train neared the next station, the conductor came on the loudspeaker to announce the stop and remind passengers to not forget their personal belongings. The same announcement you hear day in and day out. He signed off with, "And have a nice day."

After a short pause, he came back on and, in a squeaky high-pitched voice, said, "You have a nice day too, Mr. Train Conductor!"

Everyone busted out laughing. Shaken out of their routine, they smiled at each other, they shook their heads in wonder. Then, with a rustle of newspaper and a few more chuckles, they settled back into their humdrum commute.

-- Kim Stryker, Falls Church

MAKEUP MAVEN