Dispatch From a Sperm Bank
Multiple Single Moms, One Nameless Donor
Monday, February 27, 2006
Single mom Leann Mischel wanted her son to have a sibling -- a full-blooded sibling. But it wasn't looking good. The boy's father was out of the picture, so to speak. In fact, Mischel was just one of many women waiting on him. The Pennsylvania college professor reluctantly settled for her second choice.
And then Carla Schouten from San Jose had the gift of a lifetime for Mischel, 41 -- an extra vial of the father's sperm chilling in her doctor's refrigerator. Schouten's son was fathered by the same donor. The two women met on the Internet and bonded.
Some women have their book clubs, and others belong to professional groups. Some connect in therapy and others through sororities. But here is a relatively new connection: a group of 11 sharp, educated and independent women brought together by one man's sperm.
Not one of them has met the donor -- his identity is kept secret by Fairfax Cryobank in Virginia. He has fathered all of their children -- 11 so far, and Mischel's second child on the way.
"It's an emotional connection. We have a common base," explained Schouten, who adds that the women have less interest in knowing the donor than they do one another. "Most of us are single. We all desired children, and we were all attracted to the same donor."
There is much happening in world of sperm banks these days. On the Web site for Fairfax Cryobank -- one of the largest in the country -- a sperm shopper can browse the catalogue for Mr. Right Donor. Free of charge, she can find a staff assessment of the man, as well as all sorts of preferred paternal criteria: eye and hair color, nationality, blood type, height and profession. (For PhD, MD and attorney sperm, there is premium charge of $425 a sample.) Donors make a six-month commitment and are paid $900 to $1,500 a month.
There's also much more detail available for various fees: baby pictures, an audiotape and extensive medical history. Most everybody buys everything; the donor's name, birth date, address and other specific identifying information are not available.
But recently a clever 15-year-old boy figured out how to piece together his biological father's identity. The world of anonymous sperm donors gasped -- and administrators took a second look at policies.
"There is a group women out there who wanted to be able to tell their offspring who the donor was," said William Jaeger, vice president and chief operating officer of Fairfax Cryobank in explaining why Fairfax began offering a new category last month: donors who voluntarily agree to allow the sperm bank to reveal their identity to offspring once they turn 18. "The market demanded it," Jaeger said.
So far only a few men have signed up for this option -- and their sperm also carries a premium cost, of $445. Donor 401 -- as he is known to the above-mentioned 11 women -- is not one of those who wants to be identified.
As best can be determined by the birth dates of the 11 babies, 401 got into the baby business at Fairfax Cryobank about six years ago -- and what a popular fellow he turned out to be. Here's what we know about him: There is a good chance he lives in the Washington metropolitan area; he is 6-foot-4, of German heritage, has a master's degree, is athletic and is very close to his mother. "A ray of light," he called her in his personal essay.
It was one of those sweet details about a man that most women couldn't walk away from. "Such a nice guy," said Schouten, 43.