Multiple Single Moms, One Nameless Donor

Carolyn George, whose son Connor, center, was fathered by donor 401, found him likable through his comments on file at Cryobank but thinks "it would be a little bit weird to meet him now." Her oldest son Ethan is at right. (By Stephen Pingry -- Tulsa World)

"He was tall and so am I," explained Carolyn George, 34, of Oklahoma, whose youngest child, Connor, 2, is the biological son of 401. "He seemed likable."

Around the same time that 401 was getting into the donating business, a woman who had no connection to donor 401 developed a Web site, DonorSiblingRegistry.com, and set out to see if she could locate the sperm donor for her son, 9 at the time.

Wendy Kramer was not successful in her search, but her Web site is booming. Through word of mouth and publicity, it has more than 6,000 members. In addition to the 401 moms who met on the site, an additional 22 women connected to another single donor also found one another.

The 401 mothers want to make it very clear that in signing up on the site, they were not looking for a husband or a relationship -- and they are not romanticizing about the donor. They acknowledged that their children might one day be curious, but for now, they are satisfied with not knowing him and having one another.

"I think it would be a little bit weird to meet him now," George said.

"Some doors are better left closed," said Louisa Weix, 43, who has twin girls by 401. "All of us get a little queasy about the idea of invading someone's privacy."

Weix, a lawyer who is gay, said she always knew she wanted children and finally decided to go it alone a few years ago. She was attracted to 401 because of his genetic health, athletic ability (college football star) and because he tanned well. "Athleticism was more important to me than intelligence," she said. "All of the happiest times in my life came from being outdoors, not from being smart."

The 11 women are in touch regularly by phone and e-mail and hope to have a grand reunion someday with all the siblings. They post baby pictures on a private message board, and recently have begun posting health developments and histories of the kids for reference. They seem tickled about all the half-siblings their children have.

Mr. 401 has retired for now. But his recipients are certain that there are many more 401 moms out there whom they haven't met. After all, there is still a waiting list for the sperm of 401.