Peacemakers in Training
Schools Encourage Students to Play Counselor to Their Peers

By Ian Shapira
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, February 28, 2006

When students at McAuliffe Elementary School in Prince William County become involved in their age group's bottomless supply of squabbles or tit for tats, they can fill out a pink comment form headlined: "I am having trouble solving a problem with __." Then the aggrieved students can drop the pink forms into one of several pockets hanging in the school's hallways.

"They were yelling at me she always bosses me around talks behind my back," a fifth-grader wrote on a form recently, forgetting her punctuation. A third-grade boy was quite blunt in his complaint: "[He] isn't my friend. Now we get into tons of trouble sometimes. I need help."

On the surface, the notes might seem like a stealthy way to tattle. But at the Woodbridge school, the pink sheets are the first step in a process that, in both name and practice, was once largely the province of the adult workplace: dispute resolution.

Over the past several years, thousands of elementary, middle, and high schools across the Washington area and nation have been implementing "peer mediation" programs that allow students to play the role of guidance counselors and help their fellow pupils solve problems. It is part of a broader effort to reduce bullying and the threat of violence at schools.

Peer mediation programs have become so advanced that school systems have been organizing training conferences in which students and teachers take a day or two off from school to learn proper mediation techniques.

On Thursday at the Manassas campus of George Mason University, about 270 Prince William elementary and middle school students gathered for the county's third annual Finding Peaceful Solutions peer mediation conference. Students were given a Mediation Game Plan Checklist, learned scripts for conducting mediation sessions and uttered such words as "disputants" with an effortless fluency.

They even rapped the "Student Mediation Rap," which goes like this: "Got a problem?/Talk it out/Work together/Don't scream and shout . . . Find a solution/That we both can do/Mediation is for me and you!"

Mediation experts who assist school systems say 20,000 to 50,000 schools have conflict resolution programs. Studies have shown that the schools have experienced sharp reductions in the number of suspensions and incidents of violence.

Although there are many variations, peer mediation follows a basic rubric. In a private room and under the supervision of a teacher, two student mediators sit down at a table with two other students who have a disagreement. No one is forced to attend, and there are no punishments. The mediators ask for each person's version of what happened, and at the end, the students sign a contract to prevent further quarrels.

Student mediators are told repeatedly that they are not investigators, so they must control their instincts to get to the bottom of a controversy. Certain questions -- Which one of you is lying? Why did you do something like that? -- are off limits.

The subjects of disputes that reach mediation vary depending on the age. Rumormongering and snubbing are major sources of contention for younger kids, whereas teenagers bring all sorts of tension.

"In the past, we've had some stalking issues, but recently we had some people accusing some girls who are Wiccans of casting spells on them," said Dennis O'Buck, a social studies teacher at Osbourn Park High School who runs its peer mediation program. "The boys were a little freaked out. But one of the girls educated the boys on what her beliefs were, and at the end, they came to an understanding about their lifestyle."

Although the programs have had some successes, critics say they worry that schools could view them as a cure-all.

"Quite commonly, people are putting this out as a solution. I think that's wishful thinking," said Daniel Webster, an associate director for research at the Johns Hopkins Center for the Prevention of Youth Violence. "Peer mediation just doesn't match the dynamics of more serious forms of youth violence and how that plays out."

Jason Will, a Prince William sixth-grader, expects to conduct his first mediation soon, but he said he worries that most students will be shy about exposing their problems to people their age. "I think that they might feel embarrassed if they went to it," he said. "But if they knew that it was going to be confidential, then more people would want to do it."

His mother, Anne Will, said she initially was worried about her son's participation. "I called the guidance counselor because when you're in the sixth grade, peer pressure is a big thing," she said. "She told me that he wouldn't mediate anyone he knows."

Lindsey Chiles, a Prince William County fifth-grader, mediated her first dispute in December. A girl was upset and confused that her friend was ignoring her at recess. "It makes me feel like I should be a role model for the school," Lindsey said. "I should be able to solve conflicts without going to a counselor."

At the Prince William peer mediation conference last week, middle school students acted out a mediation between two boys fighting over a baseball card. One had traded his card and realized later that it was very valuable.

"I feel real angry because I didn't know," said Trey Slaughter, a Parkside Middle School student.

"What's your side of the story?" Jessica Davis, a student at Rippon Middle School, asked Brandon Humphries, also from Parkside.

"He should have known. I feel like I deserve it because it's mine already," Brandon said.

Jessica responded in an upbeat tone: "What are some ways that you could solve the problem?"

Trey ultimately agreed to fork over five dollars to get his card back.