Joey Cheek: A GWU Student's Precious Medalist

Sorry, ladies! Joey Cheek , the gold- and silver-winning, charity-donating, Harvard-applying, speedskating heartthrob of the 2006 Winter Olympics is taken -- by a George Washington University junior.

"You think he's a heartthrob?" exclaims Eleanor Collins , a 21-year-old business major. Guess it's hard to see these things, after three years of dating.

Collins is no speedskating groupie -- but her best friend back home in Modesto, Calif., was. Her high school classmate developed a crush on 2002 bronze medalist Kip Carpenter after seeing him on Jay Leno . They struck up an e-mail correspondence that a year later turned into an invitation to watch him skate in Salt Lake City. Collins went along "for moral support" and was set up with Cheek. (Calm down, moms and dads -- an aunt was there to chaperone.) The thing with Carpenter and the friend didn't take, but two weeks later Cheek came to visit Collins in Modesto and they've been together ever since.

Collins and her family were on hand in Turin this month. Though Cheek, 26, had won a bronze in Salt Lake City four years ago, he had flown under the radar in the months leading up to these Olympics. Then he skated to gold in the 500-meter race, wearing his favorite Bjorn Borg underwear that Collins bought him while studying in Europe. "I was flipping out," Collins said. "It was incredible. I think I started crying."

When the star of forthcoming Wheaties boxes donated his U.S. Olympic Committee earnings to Darfur refugee children, he blossomed into a full-fledged media sensation. (Collins herself came home to a headline in the GW Hatchet of "Junior dates Olympic medalist.") Soooo . . . worried it will go to his head?

"He's living it up!" said Collins. "He's loving it! But for Olympic athletes it only lasts a month or so, so let him enjoy it. He's pretty levelheaded."

Laughing All the Way to the Blogs

We know drunks. Drunks have been friends of ours. David Gregory , we don't think you were drunk on Imus yesterday. (Jet-lagged, perhaps. Maybe the loser in a tickle fight. But not drunk.)

The NBC White House correspondent lit up the blogosphere yesterday morning when he called into Don Imus's MSNBC show from President Bush's India trip, and promptly burst into giggles. "Are you drunk?" the pugnacious host asked. "He is drunk!"

Gregory later composed himself enough to pronounce that the United States is "going to provide nuclear know-how and fuel to India, which they need for their economy to grow. But since they never signed the nonproliferation treaty . . ." -- well, that's all we needed to hear. A real drunk wouldn't even try "nonproliferation."

"Of course he was not drinking," said NBC spokeswoman Barbara Levin. "Do you watch Imus? If so, you know how he jokes."

Prognosticating Pros Predict . . . Some Upsets

For today's VIP Oscar predix, we turn to people in the future-casting business. First up, naturally -- meteorologists!

Brace yourself: Both Topper Shutt of WUSA (Channel 9) and Doug Hill of WJLA (Channel 7) predict a major upset for Best Actor -- Joaquin Phoenix . "I'm going to go crazy," Shutt said. "I think he did a great, great job, and it actually made me become a Johnny Cash fan." Hill, meanwhile, is branching out on the Best Pic category: "Obviously 'Brokeback' has a lot of talk, but from what I've seen I'm guessing 'Crash' is going to win."

Fernando Murias , managing partner of PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP, won the Washington Post Local Economy Challenge by most accurately predicting the local economic indicators for 2005. For Best Pic: "I would say 'Crash.' I'm going to go against the 'Brokeback Mountain' trend because everyone's going to predict that." Ha! Not in this column.

The National Academy of Engineering refers us to Oregon professor Iain Pardoe , who has constructed an elaborate statistical model -- based on things like Golden Globe wins and noms in other categories -- that claims 81 percent accuracy over 30 years. He calls wins for 'Brokeback,' Ang Lee , Reese Witherspoon and Philip Seymour Hoffman . But that's just the numbers talking: "I've not really seen many of the films, so I don't have a personal opinion."

Busy political analyst Charlie Cook deferred Oscar picks to his talented staff. "Hmm, should we pick 'Good Night, and Good Luck' to be politically correct?" one aide asked another while on the phone. "No? Okay, we'll go with 'Crash.' "

Finally, we turned to Charley , a Dupont Circle psychic. "I don't do Oscar predictions," she said.