Ready for Their Close-Up

This Year, the Pictures Really Did Get Small

HOLLYWOOD, March 5

Crash! That's not how the night began. No, they just couldn't resist: The 78th Academy Award telecast opened with a gay "Brokeback Mountain" joke, a prerecorded clip with former Oscar hosts Billy Crystal and Chris Rock cuddling together in a pup tent, saying no thanks, sorry, they were too busy to host this year.

Then all eyes were on first-time host Jon Stewart, the popular fake newsman from Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" who began by making light of his own movie career. "This night we celebrate excellence in film, with me, the fourth male lead in 'Death to Smoochy,' " he said.

Then he hit the jokes.

"Bjork couldn't be here, she was trying on her Oscar dress, and Dick Cheney shot her."

Ba-dum-bum.

Stewart noted that the theme for this year's ceremony was "A Return to Glamour." Fantastic. Which he said was better than last year's theme, "Night of a Thousand Sweatpants."

Reese Witherspoon also seemed almost overwhelmed as she held the Best Actress Oscar for her turn as June Carter Cash, who stood by her man (and so much more) in the Johnny Cash biopic "Walk the Line." "I'm so blessed," she said. She praised her parents, who were in the audience: "Thank you for being so proud of me, whether I was making my bed or making a movie."

Backstage, Witherspoon said her restored vintage gown was an original 1955 Christian Dior that she found in a store in Paris. "And it's mine!" she gushed, perhaps in response to flak she got for wearing a gown to the Golden Globes that had been worn a couple years before by another actress.

Asked how she became an Academy Award-winning movie star, Witherspoon said, "Just keep working hard, man."

Her future plans? "I have no work. I'm completely unemployed."

Philip Seymour Hoffman seemed like his mind got blown, didn't he? "Wow, I'm in a category with some great, great actors. I'm really overwhelmed," said Hoffman, who took Best Actor for his turn as the lisping Terrible Tiny Truman in "Capote."