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It Doesn't Pay to Bill Your Wedding Guests

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I live in an apartment building that has a security door and intercom system on the main floor. When a date comes to pick me up, should he come all the way up to my unit or should he remain in the vestibule until I come down? Or should I buzz him into the lobby and say that I will be right down? Does the answer vary depending upon how many dates I've had with him?

Hold on. The question of how many dates it should be before a gentleman goes to your apartment surely has to do with the other end of the date. And Miss Manners prefers not to be involved in that.

It is not improper for a gentleman to pick you up in the lobby of your apartment building after he is able to notify you that he has arrived. But if you want to offer him a drink first -- no, never mind, Miss Manners isn't going to get into that.

Dear Miss Manners:

My son is marrying, and his father and I are divorced. I now have a female life partner (for 10 years); he (son's father) has not remarried. What are the rules about where we are seated at the wedding and the reception/dinner?

Miss Manners' new rule is that parents and their attachments should be seated wherever they may be expected to have a reasonably pleasant and civilized dinner. Whether that is near or far in your particular case, you know better than she.

Write to Miss Manners at United Media, 200 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10016.

2006Judith Martin

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