Nightlife Agenda

Friday | Saturday | Monday | Tuesday

We know you're looking for ideas for St. Patrick's Day and March Madness. And we suggest you click on those links to get answers. If you're trying to steer clear of Irish pubs and sports bars this weekend, keep reading.

Friday, March 17
Hip-hop sure is funny. ("How funny is it?") It's so funny that a couple of pint-sized cold-hearted criminals can make a song containing threats of bodily harm to poseurs trying to wear the mantle of true thuggery, and that song can turn into a club anthem at places like Love, which exclude the work boot-and-bandanna-wearing element for fear it might dull the sheen of glamour. Jiggy club dancefloors explode when Mobb Deep's "Shook Ones Pt. II" rumbles through the speakers, although Havoc and Prodigy would never be allowed through the doors if they weren't major rap stars. Oh, the irony. Experience it for yourself as Mobb Deep plays at Love with DJ S&S tonight. Get there early, sign up on the guestlist and don't dress like Mobb Deep.

The Tortured Soul boys started spreading the gospel of a band that plays like a DJ set about six years ago. The lineup of drums, bass and keys is essentially the rhythm section of what would have been a larger disco ensemble in the '70s, though all Tortured Soul's vocals are handled by the drummer -- there is no slinky diva out front. Christian Ulrich amazingly retains his retro falsetto while bashing out a nonstop backbeat, accented with fills that sound just like the flourishes that house music producers program into their tracks. Tortured Soul's history of proselytizing in Washington started at DC Sanctuary and repeat visits got them all the way to the 9:30 club. Tonight they'll be hitting at the Black Cat along with DJ Dub from DJ Hut and Angela Johnson, the vocalist in Ulrich's other soul band, Cooly's Hot Box.

Speaking of house, D.C. Sanctuary is celebrating a three-year run on H Street -- a district that is only now showing the upswing that was breathlessly predicted when the space first opened. Being cut off from the main nightlife arteries never stopped the club from maintaining popular nights with residents like DJ Shadrach and the POJI Records crew. And this isolation definitely helped to attract luminaries like Osunlade, Frankie Feliciano and Tony Humphries, because DJs get free rein to take the night wherever they wanted to go, and they were rewarded with massive sound and ecstatic dancers. For the anniversary party tonight, DJ Oji and DJ Earnest Fountain share the decks with Kevin Hedge, one half of the legendary duo Blaze, whose records are indispensable in the crates of any DJ seeking to create a spiritual dance experience. The Sanctuary just installed a new sound system and dancefloor. Make sure you get your disco nap because it's going to be on.

We've never met the D.C. Rollergirls, and we're not huge fans of the scuzzy Grog and Tankard, but how can we not support a fundraiser for Washington's only all-female roller derby league? They're promising green beer and a spanking booth -- that's the kind of evening it's going to be -- plus live music by Temporary Basement, Sapphire and Kick in the Pants and hip-hop DJ Mic the Finite. Doors open at 6, the hard-checking action goes until 10. A $10 donation to the league is required.

Mirrors has been booking its stage with poetry, hip-hop, classic soul and Caribbean acts, and now the club's making it happen for the Majic FM's "30 and Over Club Card" members who dig smooth jazz. Marcus Johnson brings his instrumental R&B to the New York Avenue corridor tonight as a harbinger of things to come. With the imminent completion of a couple of office complexes right across the street, Mirrors is poised to scoop up all of that African-American professional happy hour traffic and few area artists have as much cachet with that well-heeled set as pianist and bandleader Johnson.

Why spend your St. Patrick's Day drinking Guinness in some cramped pub when you could be sipping an Irish bar at the Hard Rock Cafe? Professionals in the City's annual St. Patrick's Day Jam draws hundreds of young professionals for dancing in two rooms: The 40 Thieves, a local pub-rock band that channels Van Morrison, the Waterboys and (sometimes) the Pogues takes one stage, while a DJ spinning retro and hip-hop music occupies the other. There's a contest for "best green outfit," so dress accordingly. Tickets are $10 from prosinthecity.com.

On the other hand, you could spend your St. Patrick's Day playing basketball with D.C. Councilmembers Adrian Fenty and Kwame Brown, ESPN "Around the Horn" host Tony Reali, mayoral candidate Michael Brown and WTOP sportscaster Frank Hanrahan at the Hoops Sagrado Celebrity Basketball Tournament. (Spots on the teams are still available, so if you'd like to hit the hardwood in support of charity, call Brian Weaver at 202-422-2162.) Every year, the nonprofit group Hoops Sagrado sends teenagers from Washington to Guatemala, where they teach basketball, learn Spanish and interact with their Latin American peers. How better to raise money for this worthy charity than by organizing a celebrity basketball game/March Madness viewing/St. Patrick's Day party? Held at the Jelleff Boys & Girls Club, the game features food from El Paraiso and Bourbon, Irish beer and, afterwards, March Madness viewing on a big-screen TV. A tax-deductible $30 donation is suggested.

Saturday, March 18
Could Platinum be on its way back toward the upper echelon of D.C. nightclubs? Its allure has slumped with a focus on 18-and-over college nights, but now Marc and Taz -- a k a Love owner Marc Barnes and his promoting partner Taz -- are taking over Saturday nights at Platinum for Milkshake. While we're puzzling over the name (that song is so 2004) and why Barnes is running game at someone else's club, you can enjoy hip-hop by DJs Analyze and Ben Hameen. Getcha free admission passes from www.marcandtaz.com.

Asheru's doing double duty this week, starting tonight with his own continuing series known as Guerilla Lounge at Cafe Nema. Going with the theme of "Women's History Month," the live performances will be anchored by hip-hop/soul's preeminent local muse Wayna along with vocalist Stacy Epps and visual artist Melani N. Douglass. DJ Roddy Rod, who played on Wayna's album is but is better known for his work with his group Maspyke and Kev Brown's Low Budget crew, will grace the turntables with a tribute to women in music.

Owen Ashworth, the man behind Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, still seems to be pretty painfully alone on his latest album, "Etiquette," but he's decided to expand his sound beyond just the simplest of synthesizers. This is primarily indie-electronic fare, but songs such as "Cold White Christmas" now feature piano and drums, which brings a more rounded sound to Ashworth's tales of woe. Casiotone plays at Galaxy Hut with the Donkeys, a San Diego band that plays ramshackle, lo-fi indie rock that you may remember from decades such as the 1990s.

Monday, March 20
It's not that Iota has an especially small stage for a rock club. It can comfortably fit your basic four-piece band, and you can even squeeze six or seven musicians on there without things getting too uncomfortable. But we have no idea how the club will accommodate Chopteeth, the area's only 14-piece Afro-funk orchestra, which includes a three-person percussion section and a five-person horn section. Only the most determined stoics will be able to resist the grooves conjured up by Chopteeth, led by singer and Nigerian native Eme Awa. The group doesn't focus on just one sound, getting down with classic Fela Kuti-inspired Afrobeat, Ghanian funk, classic Jamaican ska and even some extra chunky James Brown classics. Be ready to dance, but know that you might have to share some floor space with members of the band.

At a dinner party the other night, some friends of friends were talking about their love of poker and how few bars in D.C. proper seem to be running Texas Hold 'Em nights these days. That's a good observation, as Fado's tournament -- the first at a Washington bar -- is currently on hiatus, and Coyote Ugly's weekly game, involves, well, going to Coyote Ugly. Stars and Bars Poker, which primarily organizes Texas Hold 'Em nights in bars in Fairfax and Loudoun Counties, has started moving into Washington, and it currently runs Monday night events at Asylum and the Uptown Tavern. It's free to play, and if you participate (and win) regularly, you amass points towards a spot in a regional tournament. Dealing gets underway at 7 and again at 10.

Tuesday, March 21
There aren't any actual animals in Animal Collective, but the group does have a song that ends with a repeated chant of "meow" -- and that's not even one of the weirder moments in the band's recorded oeuvre. The core members of the group, who go by the names of Avey Tare and Panda Bear, are from the Baltimore area and have been making an experimental folk/electronic hybrid for a while now, but became Internet-buzz darlings with 2004's "Sung Tongs" and last year's "Feels." The band's sound is hard to pigeonhole, but is generally percussive and heavy on chant-y vocal interplay. Let's call it Paul Simon's "Graceland" updated for the Internet age, with a healthy dose of Timothy Leary-approved extras. But who knows what you'll hear at the Black Cat tonight, as the band has a reputation for shunning its recorded output and instead playing only new material.

Underground hip-hop is finding a comfortable home at DC9. It's a place where up-and-comers can play on a decent system but don't have to fret about drawing the large crowds required at more prestigious venues. A skilled crowd motivator like Asheru can quickly lock down everyone's attention in a cozy room like DC9 and get the crowd bobbing, waving and responding in sync. He'll be performing along with Dirty Water, W. Ellington Felton, Heron Gibran and Jamila tonight as part of the hyperbolically titled Greatest Show on Earth. As Phife Dawg would say, "If I don't say I'm the best tell me who the hell will?"