A Comedy of Terrors

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GOVERNMENT CONTRACTING FIRM , TAKE TWO :

It's 2:30 p.m . Friday. Big Boss has again already left office and sends his workers e-mail, asking them to work during weekend. Again.

E-mail reads: "I have volunteered you to help set up the new computer system in our new office. Although you will not get overtime pay, it will be remembered in your review."

The "Office Dwight" hits "reply all" to e-mail: "I am very happy to come in over the weekend."

Scene change to weekend: Boss is, of course, not there.

Office Dwight to his very disgruntled co-workers: "It's so nice outside. We are so lucky to be here enjoying this beautiful view," he says as he looks out window onto parking lot.

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Yes. Really. That same boss also loved to announce that he would throw a big office picnic. They assumed he was buying since he initiated it. A morale booster, right? Without fail, on the Friday before the picnic, he asked the workers what they planned to bring. He volunteered to bring some soda.

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ENTER MARSHA RATTERMAN. SCENE: FIRST JOB IN A LIBRARY IN OHIO:

Belittled unendingly by her boss, Ratterman was scared to come to work. It made her physically sick. Her boss reminded her of Margaret Hamilton in "The Wizard of Oz."

Ready to finally move on, Ratterman writes resignation letter. Fearing boss, she looks both ways, drops it on boss's chair and exits office.

Boss comes in, notices letter, marches out to Ratterman: "You're a smart aleck, and we don't need your kind in the p ublic l ibrary . Good riddance to you!"

Ratterman picks up her things, leaves library, and suddenly realizes that she has taken control of her life and it can now be better.

* * *

"I went on to better things and places," Ratterman said. "It's not perfect here, but no one is as bad as the Steve Carell character . . . or Dwight," who once told the women in the office that having a bathroom is a privilege.

On Thursdays, Ratterman always goes home to watch "her" show. It reminds her of where she has been and might shed some light on things that could be changed at her own workplace in Cincinnati. "I'll bet a lot of people think the show is completely over the top, and they have no idea how close to reality it is, unfortunately."

Ratterman has even created her own perfect ending to the show, should it ever go off the air:

"The final episode should show the employees being awarded some huge judgment following their lawsuit for workplace harassment, and the boss rolled up in a rug and thrown out in the parking lot."

My educated guess is many people envision that same thing as their very own happy ending.