'Inventor' Devises a Way to Dunk the NCAAs

Mary Wheeler plugs her gourmet lipstick on the reality series "American Inventor," which helped ABC beat CBS Thursday night. (By Adam Larkey -- Abc)

March Madness host CBS won the week, though hoops play cost it first place on Thursday.

Here's a look at the week's baskets and air balls:

WINNERS

"American Inventor." New poster child for the disconnect between critics and viewers. Virtually every critic panned Simon Cowell's ABC reality series, but it clocked more than 14 million viewers anyway, comparable to the kickoffs of "Survivor" and "American Idol." ABC won the night, and ABC never wins Thursday without sports, unless it's showing Michael Jackson chatting with Martin Bashir about spending the night with little boys in his bed. Bet CBS feels foolish now, dumping Thursday's "Survivor," "CSI" and "Without a Trace" for single-digit March Madness crowds.

"The New Adventures of Old Christine." Julia Louis-Dreyfus's new CBS sitcom bagged more than 15 million viewers -- the best number out of "2.5 Men" this season. "Seinfeld" curse over.

"The Unit." New CBS military drama shows signs of "American Idol"-proof-ness, losing only about half a million viewers from Week 1, even though Fox's "Idol" showed up in its time slot the second week.

"South Park." Internecine kerfuffle between Viacom divisions and Scientology contract laborers brought boffo audience to repeat of Scientology spoof episode Wednesday night. Only Comedy Central didn't run it, disappointing, no doubt, the nearly 2 million who'd showed up.

"Bones." Fox crime drama posted a bigger audience airing right before "American Idol" Wednesday than it had the previous week immediately after "Idol."

"Big Love." HBO's new post-"Sopranos" series climbed from 2.5 million to 3.4 million viewers for its Sunday 10 p.m. telecast, despite the slight week-to-week slide of "Sopranos," from 9.5 million to 9.2 mil.

"John Edward Cross Country." Made-for-TV psychic's road show clocked 466,000 viewers Friday, besting the second-season launch of "Bridezillas" and the "American Princess" premiere to become WE's biggest original series launch ever.

"The Simpsons." Fox has okayed 18th and 19th seasons of the longest-running entertainment series now on the air, meaning we will see a 400th episode in May '07.

"King of the Hill." Fox pulled a "never mind" on shuttering this animated Sunday series, after ratings rebounded, and has ordered an 11th season.

LOSERS

"Survivor: A Closer Look." "Survivor" clip jobs tends to get smaller crowds than competition episodes, and Wednesday's was no exception, scoring just 12.7 million viewers . It was the third smallest audience for the "Survivor" franchise, behind only clip jobs on "Survivor: Thailand" and "Survivor: Marquesas."

"The Loop." For 24 hours, "The Loop" looked hot, unveiling as it did following "American Idol" with a hefty 13.7 million tuned in. The next night, when it settled into its regular Thursday time slot, only 4.8 million came back. That's a 65 percent audience loss, folks.

"The O.C." Last week, the so-over latter-day "90210" delivered its smallest ratings ever for an original episode among younger viewers.

The week's 10 most watched programs, in order, were: Fox's Tuesday and Wednesday "American Idol"; ABC's "Grey's Anatomy"; CBS's "CSI: Miami," "The Unit," "NCIS" and "Two and a Half Men"; ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"; NBC's Monday "Deal or No Deal"; and CBS's "60 Minutes."