Directory Persistence

... in which Gene stalks a smooth operator

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By Gene Weingarten

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The other day I dialed 411, Verizon national directory assistance.

Female Robot Voice: City and state, please.

Me: Montm . . . oh, wait, no, the city is Washington, D.C.

FRV: Sorry, I didn't get that. (Slightly scolding tone) What city and state, please?

Me: (Obediently) Wash. Ing. Ton. Dee. See.

FRV: Say the name of the business you want, or say "residence."

Me: Montmartre. It's a restaur . . .

FRV: Okay, you want Baltimore County trash collection? Is that right?

Me: Aaaaarrgh!

FRV: Sorry, I didn't get that. Please say the name of the business, or say "residence."

Me: (Fuming silence)

FRV: (Slightly scolding tone) Okay, please hold for an operator.

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