Also Playing

Friday, March 24, 2006

Also Playing

A star (*) denotes a movie recommended by our critics.

AQUAMARINE

This mild-mannered comedy tells the story of 13-year-old best friends Claire (Emma Roberts) and Hailey (Joanna "JoJo" Levesque), who discover a mermaid named Aquamarine (Sara Paxton), who has come ashore to find love. She immediately sets her baby blues on a lifeguard named Raymond (Jake McDorman), whom Claire and Hailey have been crushing on all summer. The direction isn't particularly distinguished, and there are no stand-out performances to speak of, but this movie is better than nothing for its woefully underserved audience: 10- to 13-year-olds -- especially girls. (PG, 109 minutes) Contains mild profanity and sensuality. Area theaters.

-- Ann Hornaday

BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE 2

Oh, she's big, that Momma. How big? As big as special effects and prosthetics allow. If there's any reason to watch this sequel, and there really isn't, it would have to be watching the eye-torturing spectacle of Martin Lawrence running, a la Bo Derek in the movie "10," along the beach in slow-mo with all those, uh, giant parts rattling, rolling and undulating. Lawrence is FBI agent Malcolm Turner, who slaps on the big lady equipment (again) so he can pose undercover as a nanny to uncover the nefarious doings of the big daddy of the household. As predictably as Tuesday follows Monday, Big Momma warms and loosens the obsessive-compulsive heart of the mother (Sarah Brown) and her three kids. (PG-13, 99 minutes) Contains slapstick violence, sexual humor, a drug reference and images of Big Momma that will haunt you. Majestic Cinema and Marlow Theatres.

-- Desson Thomson

* THE BOYS OF BARAKA

This rich, satisfying documentary follows four inner-city boys who discover their potential at a boarding school in Kenya. We meet Devon Brown, Montrey Moore, Richard Keyser Jr. and his brother Romesh Vance as they wend their way through a tortured public school system and their own troubled families. Still, each has demonstrated potential, and they are recruited to attend the Baraka School, founded in 1996 by the Baltimore-based Abell Foundation. Soon, their worlds are rocked and their minds are blown -- until the story takes a drastic turn. The film tells a wrenching story of the many ways a society can lose faith in its best and brightest, but it also proves how poetically that story can be told. It's a soaring, artistically complex testament to survival, character and hope. (Unrated, 84 minutes) Contains profanity and adult themes. Avalon.

-- A.H.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

The story of two cowboys who fall in love in the 1960s, this film is a sweeping, solemn, self-serious chronicle of their relationship over several decades. From the moment Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) meet while applying for jobs herding sheep in Wyoming, it's just a matter of when, not if. That consummation is a brief, violent, loveless episode that over their first summer together becomes an idyll of half-naked wrestling, nuzzling by the campfire and fist fights that end in an embrace. They won't meet again until four years later, and over the next several years, the two men will have to be satisfied with fishing trips on Brokeback Mountain during which no fish will be caught. Ledger is especially impressive as the withdrawn, emotionally stunted Ennis. As a tragic evocation of the costs of homophobia -- not just to closeted gay people but to their families and loved ones -- the film is indeed a watershed, an airing of taboos and secrets that can only be seen as welcome and deeply humanist. But as a testament to the importance of following one's passion, it's devoid of one crucial thing: passion. (R, 134 minutes) Contains sexuality, nudity, profanity and some violence. Area theaters.

-- A.H.

* CAPOTE

It is a comical image: fey, mincing, piping little Truman Capote in his vicuna coat and cashmere scarf tiptoeing around the bleak wheat-field burg of Holcomb, Kan., in the wake of some horrific murders about which he admits he doesn't really care. Capote had come to Kansas to investigate the 1959 murders of a wealthy farmer named Clutter and his wife and two kids and to write what became his brilliant "nonfiction novel," "In Cold Blood." As Capote, Philip Seymour Hoffman makes you believe in the man: an artist's personality, ruthless and shrewd; a hysteric's delicate grasp of his emotions; a charmer whose wiles could wear down even the wary Kansas lawmen. It's a performance, not an impersonation. The movie is astringent, almost shorn of rhetoric. It makes its points in brief scenes simply composed, without fretwork or flash. The writer and director, Dan Futterman and Bennett Miller, respectively, are extremely agile in this production, giving the movie a minimalist's purity, which feels refreshing in this age of excess. (R, 98 minutes) Contains violent language and images. Area theaters.

-- Stephen Hunter

* THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE

Andrew Adamson's sterling version of the perdurable C.S. Lewis classic of children's fantasy is well told, handsome, stirring and loads of fun. Taken at face value, the film decodes into a kind of dashing view of colonialism for the prepubescent set, an empire-and-faith fable set in a fantasy world whose relation to the real one will be, for adults, its most fascinating element. For kids, the pleasure will be in some of the best special effects of the year. And for both, the overarching endearment will be a narrative, which speeds through its two-hour-plus running time. When Lucy Pevensie (adorable Georgie Henley) finds refuge in the big box on the upper floor of an ornate mansion where she and her three siblings are waiting out the Blitz, she finds herself suddenly in Narnia. No explanation given, no explanation needed. Lucy wanders about, running into the faun Mr. Tumnus (part James McAvoy, part computer illustration) and learning it's eternally snowy in Narnia because the White Witch Jadis (the fabulous Tilda Swinton) has taken over, declared eternal winter and outlawed Christmas. Of note, the movie rides its PG rating right to the very edge; its evocation of animal death and battlefield mayhem and jeopardy to children is extremely powerful, and some kids may find it disturbing. Parents should consider carefully before taking their younger children. (PG, 140 minutes) Contains intense, if bloodless, violence and death. AMC Courthouse, Arlington Cinema 'N' Drafthouse and University Mall Theatres .

-- S.H.

* CRASH

The aftermath of Rodney King and 9/11 seems to sear the nostrils of every Los Angeleno in Paul Haggis's Oscar-winning white-knuckle hatefest among characters of almost every ideological, cultural or religious stripe. Asians, Latinos, whites, blacks, rich and poor, Muslim and Christian all clash in this multi-character story that features Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, Matt Dillon, Ryan Phillippe, Jennifer Esposito and Chris "Ludacris" Bridges. If "Crash" only showed the dark side of humanity, it would barely be worth the viewing. But the movie is also about the best in people. As soon as we think we have some characters' number they turn around and do something quite astonishing. We're all so hopelessly human, and writer-director Haggis, who wrote the screenplay for "Million Dollar Baby," gives this truism a deeply lyrical dimension. (R, 100 minutes) Contains sexual scenes, obscenity and violence. P&G Westfield Montgomery and Avalon.

-- D.T.

CURIOUS GEORGE

In this animated movie, the man with the yellow hat, voiced by the pipsqueaky pipes of Will Ferrell, is a complete goof. He's given a name -- Ted -- and a back story (he's a museum guide). The plot involves poor, dim Ted being dispatched to Africa, where we meet George, to come up with an "attraction" so fabulous it will save the clearly for-profit Bloomsberry Museum. For a while George the icon, a little, furry ball of adorable cuteness, is quite amusing. It's the old kind of cartoon, drawn in the open, friendly style of H.A. Rey, the books' illustrator, nuanced simplicity at the approximate level of a fine New Yorker cartoon. But that nuance is nowhere in this version. It's pretty elementary. (G, 77 minutes) Contains no offensive imagery. Area theaters.

-- S.H.

DATE MOVIE

Big girl Julia (Alyson Hannigan) is determined to lose as many of her 389 pounds as possible. When she meets British bachelor Grant Fonckyerdoder (Adam Campbell), she has a reason to slim down. But there isn't much more story to impart; the movie is basically bad sight gags and a laundry list of laugh lines that allude to "Hitch," "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," "My Best Friend's Wedding" and other romantic comedies. (PG-13, 81 minutes) Contains relentlessly crude humor and sexual innuendo. Area theaters.

-- D.T.

* DAVE CHAPPELLE'S BLOCK PARTY

This film was shot in September 2004, when Dave Chappelle had just signed a $50 million deal for his comedy series. Watching him, there's not a hint of the events that would unfold: He bolted from the show's production, sparking wild speculation about his mental state. Instead, we get a home-movieish documentary that follows him from his rural retreat in Ohio to a free concert he hosts in Brooklyn. There's an innocent joy and a genial detachment, as if he's playing host to his own celebrity. But there's something deeper at work. Even with his cutting racial satire, he seems uniquely positioned to appeal to white and black Americans. (R, 103 minutes) Contains profanity and discussion of drug use. Area theaters.

-- D.T.

DOOGAL

This snarky animated adventure about a dog named Doogal who does battle with an evil sorcerer is a tiresome, cliche-ridden snore. The title character is a selfish, greedy little mutt; his pals aren't much more original, or likable. With any luck, this movie, which stars the voices of Jon Stewart, William H. Macy, Jimmy Fallon and Whoopi Goldberg, will be on its way out of theaters by the time you read this. But if by chance you happen to encounter it on a multiplex marquee, poster, TV ad or piece of licensed merchandise, just mentally scrape it off the bottom of your shoe and move on. (G, 85 minutes) Contains nothing objectionable except for the film itself. Laurel Cinema.

-- A.H.

* DUCK SEASON

Buddies Flama (Daniel Miranda) and Moko (Diego Cataño) find themselves alone in Flama's Mexico City apartment: They play video games, their attractive neighbor wants to use their oven to bake a cake, the power goes off and on, they have a dispute with the pizza deliveryman. Throughout, director Fernando Eimbcke, in an extraordinary debut, never expresses contempt for his characters and examines their inner lives with compassion and respect. He inspires us to do the same, drawing us deeply in. (R, 85 minutes) Contains profanity, drug use and mild sexual content. There are also scenes depicting the slaughter of dogs. In Spanish with subtitles. Landmark Bethesda Row and AMC Loews Dupont.

-- D.T.

* EIGHT BELOW

Eight canine stars pull their weight literally and figuratively in this lively dog-in-jep adventure. The question for dog lovers is not whether they will cry, but how hard. The answer: pretty hard. The movie, a remake of the 1983 Japanese film "Antarctica" (both films are based on true events) starts out with a gripping setup, in which National Science Foundation guide Jerry Shepard (Paul Walker) takes an arrogant scientist on an expedition. When a storm forces the humans to evacuate, Jerry is told he can't go back for the dogs. The movie is an often agonizing depiction of how these animals save themselves, and the sequences of them trying to survive are magnificent and deeply moving. (PG, 120 minutes) Contains scenes of peril and brief mild profanity. Area theaters.

-- A.H.

* FAILURE TO LAUNCH

This movie is one of the best American films in months and the best comedy since I don't know when. Matthew McConaughey plays a 35-year-old boy-man who still lives with his parents. They hire Sarah Jessica Parker, a specialist in emptying nests, to get him to fall in love with her and move out. On this simple, sturdy frame, the writers work all kinds of comic riffs. The movie is so swift and sure, you can say: It achieves liftoff. (PG-13, 97 minutes) Contains sexual innuendo and brief nudity. Area theaters.

-- S.H.

* THE FALLEN IDOL

Rialto Pictures has earned its movie-angel wings in rereleasing this 1948 collaboration between director Carol Reed and writer Graham Greene. This silky, sophisticated psychological thriller tells the story of Phillipe (Bobby Henrey), a young boy whose cosseted life as the son of an ambassador is shaken when he's exposed to adultery, betrayal and mendacity. They don't make movies like this anymore, all the more reason to see it now while you can. (Unrated, 95 minutes) Contains adult themes. Landmark's E Street Cinema.

-- A.H.

FINAL DESTINATION 3

The third movie in this series underscores how inevitably death comes to those who are, well, in the cast. Just as she's about to embark on a roller coaster with her friends, Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) gets a horrifying premonition that this will be a death ride for all. She gets off before it starts, and so do most of her friends. But the event is just a precursor of the grisly calamities that will soon visit everyone. The movie panders to viewers, allowing them to take gleeful comfort in the destruction of the stupid and doomed. (R, 92 minutes) Contains gory violence, nudity and profanity. Majestic Cinema and Muvico Egyptian Theatres.

-- D.T.

FIND ME GUILTY

As cinematic distractions go, this one's right up there: the spectacle of usually buff action hero Vin Diesel playing a real-life Italian American mobster. With hair. And a gut. Talk about your suspension of disbelief. But once I got over that, I found myself charmed by Diesel. Playing the morally compromised Giacomo "Jackie Dee" DiNorscio, Diesel infuses the Lucchese family made man with a convincing cocktail of sweetness and rage. But I was less enamored with the film's scraggly script. This is a courtroom drama without a whole lot of drama going on. (R, 125 minutes) Contains profanity and scenes of violence. Area theaters.

-- Teresa Wiltz

FIREWALL

Harrison Ford plays Jack Stanfield, a security systems designer who is held at gunpoint, along with his family, by a criminal mastermind who knows Jack designed the security for a global bank. While his family is kept hostage, Jack must go to work and finesse a way to steal the money and, of course, save his family and outwit the bad guys. Unfortunately, Ford's brand of resolute action hero has become obsolete -- at least for him. Although the actor looks in great shape for someone turning 64 in July, the job description calls for vigor and virility. Flagging energy isn't the only issue here; Ford has become enslaved in his own cliches. (PG-13, 120 minutes) Contains violence and mild profanity. Area theaters.

-- D.T.

* FUN WITH DICK AND JANE

This remake of the 1977 comedy stars Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni as an overextended, upwardly mobile California couple, and for the first hour it captures with breezy humor and quick, goofy vignettes the angst of the upper-middle manager at the turn of the 21st century. Dick and Jane Harper (Carrey and Leoni) are McMansion millionaires, with their assets tied up in an overpriced house and a fat pension plan with Dick's company, an amorphous global consortium called Globodyne, which goes bust. Meanwhile, Jane has decided to quit her job as a travel agent, and they're both unemployed. It takes a few months before Dick hits on the idea of stealing. For the most part, this movie is a no-brainer with a brain, a light, inoffensive comedy. Though instantly forgettable, it lives up to its title: It's fun, and that's fine. (PG-13, 90 minutes) Contains brief profanity, some sexual humor and occasional humorous drug references. University Mall Theatres.

-- A.H.

* HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

This is probably the most engaging Potter film of the series thus far. Our central character, Hogwarts student Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is possibly more intimidated by girls than by dragons. Wizardry is hard. And there are no spells to help negotiate the terrors of adolescence. If only he had time to figure this stuff out. And there's hardly a peaceful moment at Hogwarts. For instance, Harry just got drafted, mysteriously, into the international Triwizard Tournament. As if that wasn't enough, a large skull-and-snake apparition has appeared in the skies, a signal that the evil Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) has returned. Readers of the J.K. Rowling novels may be disappointed that many details from the book have been altered or omitted. But as long as those readers appreciate large-scale action and smaller-scale interaction, they'll be happy. (PG-13, 160 minutes) Contains fantasy violence and frightening images. National Air & Space Museum (Dulles) and National Museum of Natural History.

-- D.T.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES

This remake of the alleged 1977 Wes Craven classic is by French director Alexandre Aja ("High Tension"), who is a great reworker. The basics are: A disputatious, dysfunctional clan is headed to California. You can tell they're doomed to slaughter, in all sorts of ways: burning at the stake, pickax in the head, etc. Aja was clearly working on a big budget for his first American film and was told he could do anything he could think of. Visually, the movie is wildly alive, full of sure touches. (R, 105 minutes) Contains gory violence. Area theaters.

-- S.H.

HOODWINKED

The angle taken by this unnecessary variant of the "Little Red Riding Hood" story seems to have more to do with marketing than storytelling: It's to reinvest the Grimm Brothers story of the little girl stalked by the wolf who has disguised himself as her grandma in the idiom of the television series "Dragnet." Anyone familiar with that early-TV classic will recognize the tropes: the solemn narrative arranged in strict chronology as keyed to a time signifier ("3:42 P.M."), the deadpan tone of the narrator, the use of police code ("a 3-42 in progress") as the story is broken down and reassembled in the form of an investigation. Who will be familiar with these stylizations? The answer: grandparents. So when we take our grandkids to the flickers, we'll connect, and the grandkids will like the funny animated creatures, the bright colors, even if the "Dragnet" stuff flies over their heads. So as marketing theory, the movie makes a little sense. Too bad, then, it's so crummy. As animation, it's far from state of the art; the creatures seem more like rubber toys, and their faces are without nuance or vividness. Then there's the vocal cast. It's a combination of has-beens and almost-weres. (PG, 81 minutes) Contains mild action and thematic elements. University Mall Theatres.

-- S.H.

THE LIBERTINE

Johnny Depp plays John Wilmot, the Second Earl of Rochester, friend and adversary of King Charles II. This British movie may be almost all Depp all the time, but, in this case, more is less. Depp is certainly alluring in 17th-century bad-boy regalia, but in this ill-conceived story, his luster is futile despite his signature glints of the eye, sexy puckering and prince-of-darkness swagger. It doesn't help matters that the film seems to unload every olde English cliche on file. (R, 114 minutes) Contains profanity, graphic nudity and sexual scenes. Area theaters.

-- D.T.

MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION

This Tyler Perry movie is a cultural phenomenon, and understanding that is key to understanding the world of Madea (Perry in a dress, wig and big-breasted fat suit), a tenderhearted black woman who talks straight and probably shoots straighter as she tries to guide lost and broken souls. Some can point to other films of higher artistic quality that deal with resurrecting broken and battered souls of African Americans. Yet Perry has figured out how to deliver his message in a way that has mass appeal. (PG-13, 107 minutes) Contains mature thematic material, domestic violence, sex and drug references. Area theaters.

-- Marcia Davis

* MATCH POINT

In Woody Allen's new film, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers plays Chris Wilton, a retired tennis player who has given up the pro circuit for the easier game of teaching the rich and untalented. When one of his students -- easygoing Tom Hewett (Matthew Goode) -- invites him to the opera, a new world opens before him. Tom introduces Chris to his wealthy parents, who take a strong liking to him, and to his sister Chloe (Emily Mortimer), who is clearly smitten with the affable newcomer. But no sooner has Chris started dating Chloe when he meets Nola (Scarlett Johansson), Tom's sultry fiancee. She's an outsider, too, and like Chris, all too aware of their precarious existential positions: Beholden to the Hewetts, they are powerless to do anything but play ball. This British-made film is elegant, uncompromising and oh-so- veddy nasty. It may not herald a Woody renaissance, but it's a terrific surprise for those who have come to greet his annual output with knowing groans. (R, 124 minutes) Contains some sexuality. Landmark's Bethesda Row, AMC Loews Shirlington and Regal Ballston Common.

-- D.T.

MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

This movie is everything you'd expect it to be: beautiful, mesmerizing, tasteful, Japanese. It's just not very hot. Derived from Arthur Golden's phenomenally successful novel, it's the story of Sayuri Nitta (Ziyi Zhang), born Chiyo, the daughter of a poor fisherman who becomes one of Japan's most revered geishas in the 1930s, only to lose it all in World War II, then gain it all back in that country's postwar recovery. The book's shortcomings remain the movie's: stately pace, complete unawareness of the larger world beyond the geisha house's doors, anthropological accuracy at the expense of dramatic dynamism and a disinterest, generally, in the relations and attractions of men to women and women to men. It stars three of the world's most beautiful women -- Zhang, Gong Li and Michelle Yeoh -- and it's set in the inner world of the geisha, those legendary Japanese figures of beauty and pinned-hair, silken, alabaster-skinned erotic temptation. Yet it just sits there, glorious but fitfully absorbing, never remotely enticing. (PG-13, 120 minutes) Contains adult themes and sexual innuendo. AMC Loews Fairfax Square.

-- S.H.

MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS

From the first few moments of this movie, which opens with an animated credit sequence reminiscent of Monty Python-esque Victoriana, it's clear what the ensuing film will be: a whimsical period piece that, despite some quietly bawdy double-entendres and a lovely performance from the always dignified Dame Judi Dench, can't escape being a bit twee. It's based on the true story of Laura Henderson, who as a recent widow in the early 1930s bought a defunct theater on London's Great Windmill Street and went on to make it a smashing success, even when German bombs began to fall. She shared credit for it with her euphonically named manager, Vivian Van Damm (Bob Hoskins), who staged nonstop vaudeville revues and then, at Mrs. Henderson's own suggestion, nonstop vaudeville revues featuring completely naked women. Humor and warmth abound, especially when the title character persuades a timid government official (Christopher Guest) to ease the censorship rules on her behalf. The solution: The entertainers will assume tastefully lit poses reminiscent of classical sculpture and painting, an artfully titillating tribute to the enduring showbiz principle of having it both ways. (R, 102 minutes) Contains nudity and brief profanity. Area theaters.

-- A.H.

MUNICH

Steven Spielberg's new film focuses on a small Israeli killing team tasked with hunting and destroying the Palestinian Black September planners of the Munich massacre of 1972 -- in which 11 members of the Israeli Olympic team were held hostage and killed -- across Europe and the Middle East in the fall and winter of that year. The team seeks, finds, plans, kills, flees; and then it begins again. The names are supplied by Israeli intelligence; the team members take it on faith that they are serving justice, not vengeance, but the doubt begins to wear on them. Killing, like it or not, is an important issue. So give the movie credit for its rigor in facing this depressing problem. But in a somewhat crude attempt to impose a suspenseful structure, the narrative memories of the Munich massacre are inserted throughout. It seems almost disrespectful to weave in a provocative re-creation of the killings -- somehow a massacre of unarmed innocents that shocked the world should be more than just fodder for ginning up the tension at the end of a commercial movie. (R, 140 minutes) Contains intense violence and sexual content. AMC Courthouse and AMC Loews Fairfax Square.

-- S.H.

NANNY MCPHEE

Nanny McPhee is the nanny you hire when all other nannies fail -- at least, that's the idea of this movie, inspired by Christianna Brand's "Nurse Matilda" books. If only the film, starring and scripted by Emma Thompson, lived up to its promise. The black-suited woman (Thompson) who shows up at the door of beleaguered widower Cedric Brown (Colin Firth) is a disconcerting hag. There are hairy warts on her face, and she has a distractingly grotesque tooth that protrudes like a single fang. The flustered Mr. Brown certainly needs her. His children, seven shameless tormentors, have sent 17 previous nannies screaming into the night. Nanny McPhee begins her five-point plan to set those barbarians straight. The movie should have been a fabulous romp about authority -- the fun, the frisson and the consequences of defying it, and the balanced blend of wisdom that follows. Unfortunately, Thompson evokes no such irreverence and energy, and the movie proceeds with dutiful efficiency. Even Thompson, as Nanny McPhee, is disappointing; you don't feel her ruling the scenes so much as amiably coaxing them along. She almost fades into the foreground. (PG, 97 minutes) Contains mild profanity. Arlington Cinema 'N' Drafthouse.

-- D.T.

NIGHT WATCH

This Russian film is a swiftly moving plunge into a world populated by vampires, seers, shape-shifters and spellbinders. It is an adaptation of the cult science fiction-fantasy novel of the same name, and like all sci-fi fantasies, is full of tiresome exposition and convenient loopholes. But director Timur Bekmambetov handles these narrative bumps with ease, infusing even the goriest of horror movie cliches with equal parts macabre fascination and jaunty humor. (R, 116 minutes) Contains violence, disturbing images and profanity. In Russian with subtitles. AFI Silver Theatre.

-- A.H.

THE PINK PANTHER

Steve Martin, whose brilliance when it comes to collecting art and writing for the New Yorker seems to evaporate when it comes to big Hollywood projects, dares to play Inspector Jacques Clouseau, the bumbling French policeman immortalized by Peter Sellers in Blake Edwards's "Pink Panther" franchise. Those weren't great films, but it was the little Sellers moments that made even the weakest "Pink Panther" a cinematic untouchable. In this version, most of the humor derives from Martin's silly French accent. But zat joke, she ees not funny. And this movie, ees, how you say, ze real dog. (PG, 92 minutes) Contains occasional crude and suggestive humor and profanity. Area theaters.

-- A.H.

THE SHAGGY DOG

This movie is a pointless remake of the 1959 Disney classic. Tim Allen plays Dave Douglas, a Type-A careerist and dog-hater who, through a series of mishaps too ridiculous and tiresome to describe, is injected with the blood of a 300-year-old dog and turns into the pooch of the title. He discovers that he may not be a bad dog but that he has been a terrible husband and father. The movie is a nasty, unappealing Allen vehicle, whose comedy chiefly derives from stupid stunts. (PG, 99 minutes) Contains mild rude humor. Area theaters.

-- A.H.

SHE'S THE MAN

In this teen-oriented tribute to Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night," Amanda Bynes plays Viola, a soccer jock who disguises herself as her twin brother to join his school team. Bynes's rubbery expressions are occasionally funny, but there's no way any human with better than myopic vision couldn't see through her disguise. For the teen audience this is aimed for, none of this will matter. But once again, Hollywood makes the mistaken assumption that cribbing Shakespearean plots and dumping the poetry will somehow download the Bard's brilliance. (PG-13, 105 minutes) Contains some sexual situations. Area theaters.

-- D.T.

16 BLOCKS

This movie follows dispirited cop Jack Mosley (Bruce Willis) as he is assigned to escort crook Eddie Bunker (Mos Def) across Lower Manhattan to testify before a grand jury in two hours' time. What neither realize is that the guy Eddie is about to blow the whistle on is a cop, and if he's indicted, that cop will rat out an elite group of detectives. So the cops improvise a series of assassination attempts along what is basically the Chinese New Year parade route to wipe out Eddie and, if necessary, Jack. This feeble thriller is full of nonsense and implausibilities. It seems such a waste to go onto the actual streets of Manhattan and shoot a movie this stupid. (PG-13, 105 minutes) Contains intense action scenes, violence and strong language. Area theaters.

-- S.H.

* SOMETHING NEW

What puts originality into this over-familiar premise is the identity of our over-scheduled hero. Kenya Denise McQueen (Sanaa Lathan) is an African American woman for whom life is about paying "the black tax" -- working twice as hard to prove her competence. After she goes on a blind date with a white man (Simon Baker), the heat they encounter doesn't come from burning crosses but from Kenya's inner circle. Her girlfriends and family make it clear they're not thrilled about this union, and the closer they get to one another, the more race matters, and the more that rival (and black) suitor (Blair Underwood) starts looking like Mr. Right. The fun -- and the seriousness -- of the movie is in watching a beautiful, classy woman challenge an equally delectable opponent. It's one heck of a matchup. (PG-13, 100 minutes) Contains sexual references. Majestic Theatres.

-- D.T.

* SYRIANA

George Clooney plays CIA operative Bob Barnes, an avuncular career agent who used to know where all the bodies were buried -- mainly because he did most of the digging. In the 1980s, the Cold War made things morally easy, bifurcating the world into black fur hats and white Stetsons. But when a routine arms deal in Tehran goes awry, Bob realizes the rules are changing. It seems the CIA no longer needs seasoned agents like him -- the ones who know the cultural terrain. It's all satellite reconnaissance and missile button pushing these days. So what becomes of an obsolete foot soldier, still struggling to pay his son's college bills? That's an urgent issue for Bob, but in this movie it's just one ripple in a brave crude world. This is a premium-octane thriller about a society that has become insidiously dependent on oil. But if it sounds like a dry exercise in macroeconomic morality, it's not. It's a taut, multilayered breath-mugger whose storyline shifts dexterously from Mideast oil fields to Houston corporate suites, never losing its metronomic pace or sense of urgency. What's so powerful about the film is the rich stories it tells and how it leads them like so many human tributaries to one black, bubbling source. (R, 126 minutes) Contains violence and profanity. AMC Loews Georgetown .

-- D.T.

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING

As a lobbyist for the tobacco industry, Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) realizes that disingenuousness is a moral survival strategy: Don't think of cigarettes as a health hazard, Nick says, consider them a symbol of America's right to choose. Watching Nick get away with murder is the wicked fun of this adaptation of Christopher Buckley's 1994 novel. But as a satire on Tobacco Inc.'s ability to market carbon monoxide as the elixir of life, this movie should be packing more nicotine. (R, 92 minutes) Contains profanity and some sexual content. Area theaters.

-- D.T.

* THE THREE BURIALS OF MELQUIADES ESTRADA

The old goat with the gnarled face is Tommy Lee Jones, as rancher Pete Perkins. He needs a good man, and Melquiades (the noble Julio Cesar Cedillo) is the best cowboy he ever knew. Then one day someone puts a .223 through Melquiades's rib cage, and the fellow dies in the dust. There are complications, extremely cleverly worked out. Jones is in just about every scene in this taut, provocative film. This is his first picture also as director, and he shows deftness and skill. The film is about white people who learn through stunning adventures that the nameless, faceless population of immigrants is actually made up of humans. It's not a big, earth-shattering thing, but this movie makes it painful and unforgettable. (R, 97 minutes) Contains sex and violence. Regal Ballston Common.

-- S.H.

TRANSAMERICA

As Bree Osbourne, a preoperative male-to-female transsexual, Felicity Huffman dives down the rabbit hole as a woman playing a man acting like a woman, pulling the challenge off with skill, aplomb and deep compassion. Bree -- who was born and raised as a Stanley -- is on the verge of a long-awaited operation to finalize a process that began long ago, when she first had an inkling that her inner gender didn't fit her outer one. Her plan is foiled, however, by a collect phone call from a juvenile correctional facility in Manhattan; it seems that a brief liaison as Stanley several years ago resulted in the birth of a son. His name is Toby (Kevin Zegers), and he needs to be bailed out. Bree travels to New York and helps him, which sends the two main characters down colorful byways and into whimsical situations, with a healthy dose of self-discovery and healing at the end. Although it features some good performances, the film's forced wackiness winds up putting viewers off rather than giving them a truly intimate view of an unknown world. (R, 103 minutes) Contains sexual content, profanity, drug use and nudity. Area theaters.

-- A.H.

* TSOTSI

This South African movie, which won Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars, is a mixture of thrilling documentary-style realism and Hollywood hokum. It follows Tsotsi (Presley Chweneyagae), a thug. His life takes an unexpected turn when he steals a BMW with a 3-month-old baby in the back. As Tsotsi, Chweneyagae turns his face into a living battle mask -- curved and molded into smooth ruthlessness. But as the story unfolds, his mask begins to crack, and his humanity begins to flow through. (R, 94 minutes) Contains violence, profanity, depictions of animal cruelty. In the South African dialect of Tsotsitaal with English subtitles. Landmark's Bethesda Row, Cinema Arts Theatre and Landmark's E Street Cinema.

-- D.T.

ULTRA-VIOLET

"Ultra-Violet" is ultra-stupid. A mad fusion of sci-fi cliche, cyberspace stylings, and wretched kung fu antics, it stars Milla Jovovich's muscle-y stomach. The play of the young beauty's fast-twitch strands of protein under her lustrous belly skin is the only fascinating thing in this movie. She plays a "hemophage," a genetically engineered superhuman who, having tasted the pleasures of Godhood, does not want to give them up. With her chums (whose stomachs are not nearly as interesting) she wages war on the high lords of society. So it's a case of navel warfare, and Jovovich wins all the fights, whether the odds are two to one or 2,000 to one. The plot involves a weapon of mass destruction being aimed against the hemophages -- an obstacle Jovovich can't seem to conquer. So everybody's ticked at her. What's a girl to do? I know: Kill everybody. (90 minutes, PG-13) Contains cartoon violence without gore. Area theaters.

-- S.H.

V FOR VENDETTA

As V, Hugo Weaving is a revolutionary dedicated to tearing down the state, but he looks like a guy in a comic book. (Wait, he was a guy in a comic book.) That almost completely ruins the audience's ability to connect with his lonely mission, and the filmmakers know it, so they front-load the regime he despises to make up in hatred what they can't create in empathy. The film is pulp claptrap; it has no insights into totalitarian psychology and always settles for the cheesiest kinds of demagoguery and harangue as its emblems of evil. (R, 132 minutes) Contains extreme violence and strong profanity. Area theaters.

-- S.H.

WALK THE LINE

This movie gets off to a promising start, sure to raise goose bumps, at the gates of Folsom Prison in 1968. The camera makes its way slowly into the jail, and finally, after an excruciating, exhilarating eternity, we see Johnny Cash -- played, in an uncanny performance, by Joaquin Phoenix -- as he drinks a glass of water and contemplates a buzz saw. We're hooked, and he hasn't sung a note. Unfortunately, for all its good music and admirable vocal impersonations, the movie slides -- very, very slowly -- downhill from there. Yes, Phoenix does an impressive job of embodying Cash, nailing the singing voice, and Reese Witherspoon as June Carter proves to have a surprisingly strong and sweet voice, but when the film takes viewers through the paces of Cash's biography, it's a more plodding affair. (PG-13, 136 minutes) Contains profanity, thematic material and depiction of drug dependency. University Mall Theatres.

-- A.H.

WHY WE FIGHT

Of all the incendiary, left-wing, anti-Bush screeds that seem to have become the flavor of the decade in the American documentary community, this one by Eugene Jarecki is probably the best. Jarecki isn't just a polemicist, he's also a filmmaker. So the movie isn't entirely bloviated experts. He understands narrative. The argument is not so much that Bush is a fool and a knave but that American culture is foolish and knavish in that it depends on a war economy and that the secret purpose of foreign policy is to find enemies so we can fight wars to justify our huge military spending. But a few subtler stories are filtered through the rhetoric. Memo to left-wing anti-Bushies: Stories like this work. Don't lecture. Tell stories! (PG-13, 98 minutes) Contains disturbing war images and brief profanity. AMC Loews Dupont.

-- S.H.