Cheney's Creature Comforts

Like any big rock star, Dick Cheney needs a soothing environment after a long day on the road. Now we know just what he likes waiting in his hotel room.

The "Vice Presidential Downtime Requirements" published yesterday on the Smoking Gun is a list of the veep's home-away-from-home comforts provided to hotels by Cheney's advance team. (The Web site obtained a copy from a hotel employee.) No over-the-top demands, just a few specific requests:

· A queen- or king-size bed, desk and chair, and private bathroom.

· All lights turned on and the temperature set at a chilly 68 degrees.

· All televisions tuned to Fox News.

· A fresh pot of decaf, four cans of Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite, four to six bottles of water, and (if Lynne Cheney is traveling with her husband) two bottles of Calistoga or Perrier sparkling water.

· A microwave and hotel restaurant menu.

· The New York Times, USA Today, Wall Street Journal, a local paper and (yes!) The Washington Post. (The papers were a handwritten addition, so we don't know who put them on the list.)

· And, if the hotel wants to leave a gift in the suite, the bills should be unmarked . . . kidding! Seriously, though, the advance team needs to know about any hotel gift for the vice president.

Cheney's office confirmed that . . . well, he stays in hotels. "The vice president maintains an active schedule which requires regular travel throughout the United States and, at times, involves a hotel stay," said spokeswoman Jennifer Mayfield.

Star Rises, and Al Falls Down

Star Jones Reynolds, in healthier times.(Kevork Djansezian - AP)

Rough week in the Star Jones Reynolds household. The co-host of "The View" had a breast job that landed her in the hospital on one coast while her husband ended up in the ER on the other. People magazine reports that the newly svelte diva, 44, was rushed to Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica last Friday with complications from breast lift surgery and spent four nights at the center. That same day, husband Al Reynolds took a nasty tumble in New York.

Conflicting reports had her at death's door -- or chipper and chatty. Her publicist released a statement saying only that she had an "elective breast lift procedure" and "is recovering wonderfully." It went on to say Al suffered two head lacerations after he slipped at the gym, went to the emergency room for stitches and stayed overnight for observation. We'll have to wait for Star's (uplifting?) return to the ABC morning show for details.

Conservator Couture: Mizrahi Dresses Up the Smithsonian

A question for Smithsonian art conservators: In the newly renovated American Art Museum and National Portrait Gallery, their lab will be visible to the public. So what to wear???

Answer: Isaac Mizrahi . The NYC couturier-turned-Target-populist is designing blue denim aprons that will be the new uniform for the museum's conservators as they work away on mending canvases or cleaning statues.

Why Mizrahi? A museum commissioner, whom officials declined to name, is an old friend and early supporter who got the designer to donate his efforts; Mizrahi went to work after interviewing conservators about their sartorial needs. Why an apron? "He wanted it to be functional," said his manager, Marisa Gardini . "He thinks this is more interesting than a lab coat." Smithsonian officials are considering selling copies of the Mizrahi aprons in the gift shops when the museums reopen in July.

UPDATE

Can't put a price tag on infamy? Sure you can -- $94,625! That was the haul from yesterday's Los Angeles auction of disgraced ex-representative Randy "Duke" Cunningham's forfeited collection of furniture, rugs and other knickknacks he got as bribes from defense contractors. Some 1,300 gawkers turned out, more than 700 of whom registered to bid. The highest price, $10,000, was fetched by an Iranian "Mahi" design rug; the lowest, $225, went to a ratty-looking rattan screen, reports our colleague William Booth. In between were a leather couch ($2,100), a 32-foot Oriental carpet runner ($4,750) and a French Provincial armoire ($7,100). Proceeds go to the FBI and the IRS's criminal investigation branch.