Sorry, You're Not on the List

One in an occasional series of dispatches from parties you should have crashed.

Event: The Phillips Collection's "The Boating Party" Gala -- Friday's $1,000-a-ticket black-tie debut for the museum's masterwork collection and new building.

The lures: A chance to see Renoir's signature painting (back from a four-year tour), and shamelessly gawk at Mark Ein's $8.5 million Georgetown mansion (once owned by Katharine Graham).

Intended drama: The jaw-dropping two-story tent with a dozen crystal chandeliers, thousands of spring roses and tulips, and eight copies of the Renoir on the walls. "Understated," says Phillips chairman George Vradenburg with a laugh. Yeah, like Louis XV is to Louis XIV. The tent, erected on the front lawn, is as close as anyone gets to the house's under-renovation interior.

Unintended drama: Thunderclaps, rain and high winds set the chandeliers swaying, as wary guests wonder which one will crash down on which table. "It's very 'Phantom of the Opera,' " quips one of the 600 guests while sipping sauvignon blanc. Many "Titanic" jokes later, everyone dances under said killer chandeliers.

Menu: Poached lobster tail, stuffed quail, passion fruit souffle with Bordeaux and champagne, created by "Le Paradou's" Yannick Cam.

Overheard: "Mark, I think you should move in here."

Stand Back! I've Got A Cellphone and I Know How to Use It!

Now that Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) has apologized for hitting a police officer in the chest with her cellphone when he tried to stop her at a checkpoint, and the matter rests with a grand jury, the question remains: How effective is a cellphone when it comes to, you know, protecting oneself? Two experts give very different advice.

PRO

Cathie Reid, self-defense instructor for 10 years, longtime affiliate of the D.C. Self-Defense Karate Association:

Whatever's in your hand -- a cellphone, a bottle of water, a pocketbook, your keys, an ink pen, a pencil -- you can use to deter an attacker. Cellphones that have [a] protruding antenna -- self-standing, not flexible -- I would use that to poke in the face or the eye. Not to take the eye out. Or on the cheekbone or temple: something to get them to think about the pain that they're in and not about attacking me. Or I would go for the nose. It stops them, and we want to give you the opportunity to get away. This is not to stand there and continue to beat someone.

Poking in the chest isn't going to do a whole lot. [Otherwise], there's not really a right or wrong way. You do whatever needs to be done. Even an iPod can be used as a weapon. Life-threatening, maybe not, but it can cause pain.