E-I-E-I-Oh No!

When good children's songwriters go bad

(Eric Shansby)

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By Gene Weingarten

Sunday, April 16, 2006

My favorite children's songwriter is Barry Louis Polisar, because he's got edge. He's a little wicked. His song titles all read like this one: "Stanley Stole My Shoelace and Rubbed It in His Armpit." His alphabet song is like none you have ever heard: D, for example, is for "doody balls."

So I challenged Barry to a children's songwriting contest. To make it interesting, the deal was that each of us would have to write on a title subject chosen by the other. Once Barry agreed, I had him where I wanted him. This is the title I gave him:

A Discussion of the Laws of Commercial Zoning and/or Eminent Domain as They Impact the Small Business Model (to the tune of "London Bridge Is Falling Down")

Barry never questioned this. He just wrote the song.

Jill and Andy made a plan

Got some land

Built a stand

There they worked hard,

hand in hand

Selling lemon-a-ade.

Then one day this big guy came

Had no shame

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