Tipping and Travel: It's No Easy Equation

Peach is just one of several readers who wrote to tell us how under-appreciated quarters are abroad: U.S. coins are worthless, since currency exchange agencies won't turn them into local money.

Dollar bills, on the other hand, will do the trick in developing countries. They do mean that the receiver has to convert them at a bank or currency exchange company. On the other hand, in places where the black market is paying more than the official exchange rate, dollars might be appreciated. In such cases, bring a roll of singles.

· Be kind when service is bad. Tipping nothing to workers whose incomes depend on it is unfair, even if you are dissatisfied with the service, numerous experts agreed.

"You could leave maybe 10 percent, but also complain to the manager on the assumption he cares and will try to improve service for someone else, if not for you," said Tim Zagat, founder and chief executive of Zagat Survey.

Etiquette specialist and author Letitia Baldrige also endorses this approach if service is particularly bad. "You don't know," she said. "Maybe the person who gave you bad service has a wife in the throes of cancer or is losing his house that day."

"Tipping is a morally dubious practice to begin with: People should be paid for what they do and not have to rely on the kindness of strangers," said Arthur Dobrin, a professor of humanities and ethics at Hofstra University. "But leaving no tip is doubly immoral. Where else can you get away with that? If I don't like my doctor, I don't go back. You don't like the service, complain to management."

Besides, he noted, bad service is often not the fault of the server. A hotel worker may respond slowly because there aren't enough employees. The food might be late in arriving because the chef is acting up.

Moreover, the person you deal with directly might be sharing his tips with people behind the scenes who are doing an exemplary job, so why punish everyone?

If someone is rude and obnoxious, that's a different matter, said Dobrin, but he added, "Most complaints I suspect are things like they wanted their steak rare and it came out medium, or they didn't want their potatoes touching their meat."

· Err on the side of generosity. Glen Stassen, an ethics professor at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif., argues that as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, "I feel an ethical obligation to tip more than most people do; I don't go by the rules of what is usual."

Zagat believes that degree of generosity is over the top, but even he agrees that if you feel happy and grateful, no arbitrary tipping rule should stop you from being magnanimous. When traveling in the developing world, even a 20 percent tip on a meal in a little local restaurant might amount to no more than small change. Some readers worried that giving a larger percentage than is customary might seem arrogant or create unfair expectations for the next traveler.

Not to worry, experts agreed.

"On a $3 meal at a local restaurant in a poor country, I'd probably leave a dollar," said ethicist Dobrin. "That's not spoiling anyone. And if that person expects a dollar from the next rich person who comes along, what's the harm?" In such situations, Zagat continues to follow his theory that a tip should be given out of gratitude, not guilt. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't tip generously.

"At Newton Circus in Singapore, where they have about 50 little booths each serving a small dish, I was getting things for $1 and tipping $2. Normally I try to stay within the customs of a country, but I'm not sitting there thinking, 'Oh my God, I'm going to break the rules and look like an ugly American'," Zagat said. "If I'm happy and in wonderment, I may make a big gesture of thanks."

As for Joe Feldman: Experts agreed he didn't need to come up with an extra $100 for the guy who uncorked his Dom Perignon. A sommelier who recommends a great bottle of wine at a good price deserves at least a 10 percent tip, Zagat said. But for simply uncorking an over-the-top expensive bottle you've chosen, 20 bucks or so should do the trick.