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Want In -- or Out? Make Us an Offer, Puh-leeze

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As always, I'll invite you to call me anytime to receive my "no comment" -- at no cost.

Surely, though, this must be a problem you'd like to see go away, us speculating on who your boss is dating . . .

I appreciate it, but I'm going to decline to comment.

Philippe Reines, spokesman for Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton:

What would you be willing to pay for protection from Reliable Source?

Well, as a government employee, I don't have much to offer. But to get this going, I'd hand over my collection of 43 unused $22 Metrochek fare cards, and then week to week, I'd pledge to actually open and sift through the Sunday Post's translucent bag of coupons.

Who do you want in the column and why; who do you want out and why?

Well, I'd want to see an item or two about who frequents Cafe Milano, because you just never see that now. As for who to leave out, I'd want to start by being spared from this Q&A.

No deal.

Stan Rosenfield, publicist for George Clooney and his potbelly pig, Max:

Do you want him in or out of the column?

Some days you want to keep him in, some days you want to keep him out.

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