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Want In -- or Out? Make Us an Offer, Puh-leeze

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How do you decide?

Depends how much trouble it would cause. He doesn't want false stories of mythical romances in. He likes to keep his private life private. Since I cannot offer a bribe because it would violate both of our ethics, I would do the only thing available to me: I'd marry you and swear you to secrecy.

That's brilliant.

Karl Swanson, spokesman for the Washington Redskins:

So, what can you give us to guarantee that we'll start reporting accurately about certain players? You know, unlike that time we mentioned Chris Cooley's two nonexistent kids?

Our phone number.

Ooh, ouch!

That's all it takes.

Sorry, You're Not on the List

One in an occasional series of dispatches from parties you should have crashed.

Hosts: Competitive Enterprise Institute and Bureaucrash Activist Network

Site: Dragonfly nightclub

Occasion: The new partnership between the long-standing free-enterprise think tank and Bureaucrash's Web-based "feisty young libertarians."

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