By Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts
Sunday, April 16, 2006
The gossip world was shocked last week to hear allegations that a writer for the New York Post's Page Six tried to shake down a billionaire playboy for $220,000 to keep him out of the column. Why didn't we think of that?! Let's make some calls to test the market . . .
Mark Plotkin, WTOP's political analyst and D.C. gadfly:
You've heard about this gossip scandal in New York?
You should be charging.
We've been so naive.
What can I offer? Access to all D.C. politicians. Marion Barry's cellphone number. Season tickets to the Baltimore Orioles. I just talked to What's-His-Name.
None of these are very exciting.
Seats for the G.W.-Georgetown basketball rivalry.
Are you trying to get in or stay out of the column?
I'm trying to get in, sure. Who wouldn't want to get in? Let's see . . . an evening with William Donald Schaefer ?
Randy Samborn, spokesman for Very Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald:
What would you offer to get us to stop calling and ask nosy personal questions about your boss ?
As always, I'll invite you to call me anytime to receive my "no comment" -- at no cost.
Surely, though, this must be a problem you'd like to see go away, us speculating on who your boss is dating . . .
I appreciate it, but I'm going to decline to comment.
Philippe Reines, spokesman for Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton:
What would you be willing to pay for protection from Reliable Source?
Well, as a government employee, I don't have much to offer. But to get this going, I'd hand over my collection of 43 unused $22 Metrochek fare cards, and then week to week, I'd pledge to actually open and sift through the Sunday Post's translucent bag of coupons.
Who do you want in the column and why; who do you want out and why?
Well, I'd want to see an item or two about who frequents Cafe Milano, because you just never see that now. As for who to leave out, I'd want to start by being spared from this Q&A.
No deal.
Stan Rosenfield, publicist for George Clooney and his potbelly pig, Max:
Do you want him in or out of the column?
Some days you want to keep him in, some days you want to keep him out.
How do you decide?
Depends how much trouble it would cause. He doesn't want false stories of mythical romances in. He likes to keep his private life private. Since I cannot offer a bribe because it would violate both of our ethics, I would do the only thing available to me: I'd marry you and swear you to secrecy.
That's brilliant.
Karl Swanson, spokesman for the Washington Redskins:
So, what can you give us to guarantee that we'll start reporting accurately about certain players? You know, unlike that time we mentioned Chris Cooley's two nonexistent kids?
Our phone number.
Ooh, ouch!
That's all it takes.
Sorry, You're Not on the ListOne in an occasional series of dispatches from parties you should have crashed.
Hosts: Competitive Enterprise Institute and Bureaucrash Activist Network
Site: Dragonfly nightclub
Occasion: The new partnership between the long-standing free-enterprise think tank and Bureaucrash's Web-based "feisty young libertarians."
Bar: Open! Beer and wine only.
Scene: Youngish, professionalish, hard to peg. Few neckties on the men but few ponytails either. Chatter about organizing a counter-protest against a protest against a biotech conference in Chicago.
Highlight: Free, high-quality T-shirts with provocative hipster-libertarian slogans -- "Capitalists of the World Unite!" "Freedom -- My Anti-Gov"; also one with Che Guevara wearing Mickey Mouse ears.
Overheard: "I don't actually know what the Che one means -- but it's funny!"
Disappointment: No one offered us any victimless crime weed.
Readers Tell UsThis week we wrote about the Nationals' opening day, with the down-to-the- wire race for an owner and fans booing Dick Cheney's in-the-dirt first pitch. Though we noted we could find no sign of the Lerner family at the game, despite their front-runner status as bidders for the team, some sharper-eyed readers pointed out that Ted Lerner's daughter Debra Cohen was there with husband Ed . And we got a lot of fastballs from readers who thought jeering the vice president was wrong. Or not.
"When you boo the Vice President throwing out a ceremonial first pitch, you aren't booing Dick Cheney, you are booing the office," wrote an Alexandrian who called the response "tacky." Nonsense, said another reader: "Enough of this pseudo fake Southern politeness." Others suggested that deafening silence would have made the point.
And one opinion of the pitch itself: "I guess the veep throws about as well as he shoots." Wind up and throw us a tip at reliablesource@washpost.com.
View all comments that have been posted about this article.