Cavs' Jones Is Awarded Style Points

Posting Up

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Monday, May 1, 2006

Having conclusively determined that Sideshow Anderson Varejao is the best-coiffed NBA superstar in this series, we next turned our attention to a much more serious matter: the search for the best-dressed NBA superstar in this series.

Certain pretenders, like Zydrunas Ilgauskas, were quickly eliminated.

"He's never ironed," complained Cavs GM Danny Ferry.

In the Cavaliers' locker room, the talk focused on LeBron James, whose style has been celebrated in the pages of GQ, and Damon Jones, whose tastes run to the flamboyant (think teal).

One source close to the Cavaliers' bench, who spoke on the condition of anonymity (seriously), described Jones's wardrobe as "unpredictable, that's the best word I can give you." Jones, perhaps chastened by the media furor he created by calling Brendan Haywood "a baby" before Game 3, declined to discuss his fashion choices and ducked into a training room to eat his pregame meal: a 10-piece order of Chicken McNuggets, a McNormous fries and some barbecue sauce.

Down the hallway, we found Jared Jeffries, the Wizards' resident fashion expert. Although he would not enter himself in the competition -- "I ain't got the money like those boys," he explained -- he identified Caron Butler as Washington's best hope.

"His stuff's official," Jeffries said, which is apparently a good thing. Awvee Storey agreed, calling Butler's look "classic."

Not trusting such locker room partisans, we turned to two unbiased observers. New Orleans Hornets rookie point guard Chris Paul agreed that James, Jones and Butler were the three leading choices but declined to name a winner. So the floor was open for TNT analyst Cheryl Miller, who said Butler and Jones should be the finalists. And the winner?

"I've got to give it to Damon Jones," she said. "He's a man in touch with his feminine side. Very much in touch."

Talking Big: Speaking of simmering feuds, new life was breathed into last year's playoff tete-a-tete between Peter John Ramos and Gheorghe Muresan.

"Does he still play?" Muresan asked of Ramos, who is not on the Wizards' playoff roster.

"He can't even run," Ramos scoffed when asked if he could take down Curious Gheorghe.


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