By Allison Stewart
Special to The Washington Post
Sunday, May 14, 2006; N05

Are there two more pitiable creatures on Earth than Nick Lachey and Ashley Parker Angel? Former 98 Degrees member Lachey endured the public humiliation of the unraveling of his marriage to Jessica Simpson, who -- perhaps you've heard -- sent him packing shortly after the end of their "Newlyweds" series. Angel endured being a member of O-Town, America's least lovable boy band, then suffered through his very own MTV show about being a has-been.

While both artists milk their

respective traumas to within an inch of their lives on their new albums, every ex-boy-band-member-turned-reality-TV-star, it turns out, is unhappy in his own way. Lachey has issued the mopishly titled "What's Left of Me," a collection of sad-sack ballads and, just for variety, sad-sack mid-tempo numbers -- the musical equivalent of a hair shirt. Angel got an updated himbo haircut, enlisted production titans the Matrix and issued a solo debut with the improbably optimistic title "Soundtrack to Your Life."

"What's Left" is the better of the two discs, and not just because its chronicling of the demise of a tabloid relationship adds a layer of shameless voyeurism and pathos (but mostly voyeurism) to the proceedings. In Lachey's version, Simpson is alternately a tragic victim of her quest for fame ("You cry/So desperate for your place among the stars") and something of a she-beast ("Your pretty face is not enough/Behind your eyes/I know you're lying").

Still, everyone involved gets off pretty easy: "What's Left" is mostly a work of marshmallowy sadness, shored up with the occasional manful declaration of resolve. Heartbreak has made Lachey nominally more interesting in real life, but quivery and unfocused on record. It's the opposite of what happened to, say, Justin Timberlake, who was made edgier by his masterful take-that-Britney hit "Cry Me a River." (Is the quality of the pop star ex-girl directly proportional to the quality of the kiss-off song?)

"What's Left of Me" isn't what anyone would call a good time, but it's appealing enough in its soggy way to suggest that Lachey might have a future as the next Richard Marx. Angel's prospects are somewhat cloudier. As anyone who's ever seen the singer's MTV reality show can testify -- "There and Back: Ashley Parker Angel" chronicled his struggles with his constantly kvetching baby-mama Tiffany and his team of understandably grim-faced producers -- Angel is the very definition of hapless; that he's managed to make an album at all is actually kind of impressive.

"Soundtrack" is the more generic of the two offerings -- a ruthlessly efficient collection of sparky guitar pop tracks augmented by the occasional foray into trippy rock ("Who Cares"), piano ballads ("Apology") and grunge-lite ("Perfect Now"). Mostly, it brings to mind MTV bumper music, that featureless, overly familiar and just-two-minutes-out-of-fashion pop played between episodes of "My Super Sweet 16" and "Tiara Girls."

If he's lucky, "Soundtrack" could position Angel as a one-man version of Fall Out Boy. Not the worst thing in the world to be, even if it already seems quaint.

Download these: "Resolution," "I Can't Hate You Anymore,"(Lachey); "Soundtrack to Your Life," "Beautiful Lie" (Angel)