Want That to Gogh?

All the while, a moving-company employee would snap photos. "You document everything to make sure you're covered," says Graham Stewart of Art Crating, a fine-art mover based in Brooklyn. "There are some major personal-liability issues involved in handling a piece of art like this."

The painting would then be carried to a truck stationed at the Sotheby's loading dock. The vehicle will certainly be equipped with air-ride suspension, for maximum smoothness, and a satellite tracking system, for maximum tracking. The truck would almost surely be unmarked -- no "Honk if you love Matisse" bumper stickers, no nothing.

The anti-theft approach here is the very opposite of the Brinks-truck strategy. Instead of a vehicle that says "vault" secured by men who say "I have shotgun," the idea is to remain as invisible as possible, on the theory that if nobody knows what you're moving, you won't be robbed. There are dozens of fine-art movers in the United States and many of them move hundreds of pieces a day. All this cargo crisscrosses the country unnoticed.

Almost surely, the owner of "Dora" would ask for armed security, so the truck would be trailed to the airport by a "follow car" -- typically an ex-cop working for a security firm.

In all probability, the ex-cop won't be needed because art-in-transit thievery is extremely rare. The only case anyone can remember is the recent, colorful case of the hopelessly inept Patrick J. McIntosh, who was arrested on May 3 in a trailer park in Florida after disappearing for a couple of weeks with a truckload of art that he had been hired to deliver. Among the valuables were seven works by the American modernist Milton Avery and an assortment of sculpture and antiques. McIntosh was so chilled-out about this caper that it's unclear if he actually intended to cash in or was merely making a lengthy pit stop to visit a woman described as his "baby's momma's sister."

This inside job notwithstanding, robbery is actually second or third on the list of worries. Unlike diamonds, a Picasso is difficult to fence. Higher up is anxiety about damaging the goods and getting them to their destination on time. Some clients send their own jets, but that is rare. When the object is small enough to fit into carry-on luggage, it is often toted on board by a courier with a first-class ticket. Several veterans of the business have stories about security guards getting quick private shows in side rooms at airports.

"If they want to examine my bag, which happens a lot these days, I ask for privacy and they always understand," said one frequent flier. "Some of them really get a kick out of it. You get a lot of oohs and aahs."

"Dora" is too big, and too valuable, for the overhead rack or a seat of her own. She is likely to be loaded into a commercial or cargo jet. (For a courier on a cargo jet, jump seats are usually available. Not recommended for the easily nauseated.) A painting is usually supposed to travel the same way that it is hung -- no reason to make gravity an enemy with goods this precious -- so "Dora" will be upright the whole trip.

She probably won't lack for company. As an extra precaution, the buyer is likely to send a representative of his own. Joanne Heyler, director of the Broad Art Foundation, has tagged along with many of the paintings lent out by her employer, which is based in Los Angeles and known for its collection of modern and contemporary art. It's work she doesn't exactly relish.

"You spend a lot of time in a cold [airport] warehouse, night and day, watching a crate, which isn't doing anything exciting, which better not be doing anything exciting," she says. "It's basically guard duty."

The big peril, she says, are forklift drivers who move the merchandise from warehouse to aircraft. The crates are put on pallets and moved by drivers who are usually up against a deadline. Heyler recalls a Malcolm Morley painting that she momentarily thought was about to be shish-kebabbed by a French forklifter.

"They spear things -- it happens," says Bryan Cooke of Cooke's Crating and Fine Arts Transportation in Los Angeles. "I've heard of maybe half a dozen examples, which isn't a lot when you realize how much art is shipping every day."