Want That to Gogh?

Once "Dora" gets to Russia, that is where the fun begins. The way fine-art movers talk about that country makes it sound a little like the Wild West, but more corrupt.

"There are two airports that service Moscow, and we're told to use one airport sometimes and the other airport other times," says Jonathan Schwartz of Atelier 4 in Brooklyn. "Fortunately, our freight-forwarding manager speaks Russian. The reality is that one has to have close government ties to navigate those murky waters."

One also has to have AK47 assault rifles. Schwartz expects that "Dora's" trip from airport to Chez Billionaire won't be discreet. Cars in front of and behind the truck, he says. A helicopter isn't out of the question.

Then, home at last. The price for all this? There are dozens of different options available, so estimates are difficult. "Nail to nail service," which would cover all the customs paperwork, all the moving and even some help with hanging, could cost from $6,000 to $10,000. Insurance sold separately. Clients either buy their own or leave that to the mover, who adds it to the bill.

If this job sounds like a recipe for acid reflux, apparently it is.

"We're glorified movers, but I'm not sure where the glory is," says Stewart of Art Crating. All 35 of his employees hold a master's degree in fine arts, he says, which means not just that they have a reverence for the product but a passion about it that is one of the few frissons of the job.

Otherwise, it's mostly about fretting. There is traffic to endure, flights to make and the ever-present, if faint, possibility that someone will gouge the Renoir. Plus a lot of impatient clients accustomed to getting what they want when they want it. Then little things, like the way cargo airlines always unload the perishable food first, because perishable food is the airlines' lifeblood. Try explaining that to a billionaire who is waiting for a Picasso.

"They don't understand," says a moving veteran. "The painting might cost $95 million, but it's not coming off before the tomatoes."