Wedding Day Surprises

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Wedding season is upon us, and with it, the potential for much unintended hilarity. A few weeks ago, we asked readers to submit their favorite wacky wedding stories. We don't have room for all of the responses we received, but here are some of our favorites:

TAKES THE CAKE

As a retired caterer, I could easily compose a novel about wacky weddings -- someday I might!

At a fantastic, elegant, tented buffet reception for 300 on the lavish grounds of an 18th-century mansion, I was supervising a staff of about 25. Suddenly, there was a lull in the band, and I heard in the distance the distinctive whoosh-whoosh of spraying water. My stomach sank as I realized what it was -- the underground sprinkler system had activated. I began frantically trying to reach maintenance. No one returned my calls. As the first bank turned off, more sprinkler heads popped up and the water whooshed on. I could only pray that they would stop before the tent.

And then . . . a table of 10 jumped from their chairs in unison, screaming. There was a sprinkler head under their table, bidet-height. The bride's sister, who was the maid-of-honor and an FBI agent, threw herself almost bodily over the cake. She would later say her protective self kicked in and she focused only on saving the cake -- a many-layered fantasy covered in rolled fondant and spun sugar flowers. Thinking fast, I had servers cover the buffet with extra tablecloths. I placed pans over the sprinkler heads and had bus boys sit on them. It was the longest 10 minutes of my life -- but the cake was saved!

-- Vanessa V. Moncure, Fredericksburg

BREAK DANCING

It started as any typical wedding would -- church ceremony, followed by a reception filled with decadent food, a steady stream of drinks, and a band that had arguably as much fun as the guests. The band's energy was contagious, in fact, and before we knew it my new husband and I were on stage with me leading the hokeypokey. Hours later, as the band was winding down, a friend grabbed me for a final dance, spinning me across the floor with mock gusto. We locked arms and began to spin -- until she accidentally let go, propelling me to the dance floor, wrist first.

The night ended with my somewhat flustered, yet amused, husband comforting me as I soaked my wrist in the ice from the champagne bucket in our suite -- later followed by a trip to the ER. After the hospital staff finished their snickering, I was finally treated, and the typical "hand upon hand" picture found in so many wedding albums was replaced by a honeymoon "cast upon hand" picture, which certainly made for a memorable story for years -- nine and counting. -- Beth Gallagher, Falls Church

COLOR ME HAPPY

The Crayola Factory in Easton, Pa., was the venue for a very "colorful" wedding -- ours. Like Dorothy in the "Wizard of Oz," guests stepped out of a black-and-white stormy day and entered an explosion of color, but with giant purple crayons, Pez dispensers and psychedelic papier-mache birds instead of wicked witches, talking scarecrows and flying monkeys. In addition to traditional eating and dancing, guests played with hot wax, painted pictures and learned how to make crayons.

It was all fun and games until someone got a little too creative with the sculpting clay.

One guest made a perfect replica of a mini-cheesecake from the dessert table and placed it on a serving tray. The unsuspecting father of the bride took a bite, grimaced, took another bite out of curiosity and then threw the rest away, probably wondering why he footed the bill for such an awful caterer. -- Jeffrey Marks, Arlington

A MAGIC MOMENT

Most of the wedding receptions I've attended were sedate, family affairs -- aside from the time the entire wedding party, attired in all their wedding finery, jumped gleefully into the swimming pool. The best and most entertaining reception of all, however, featured magic illusions by professional magicians. The finale was a jaw dropper. Somehow I didn't think the marriage would last when the groom cut the bride in half!

-- Helen Carson, Hollywood, Md.

WHERE'S THE GROOM?

I've attended my share of interesting weddings, but a wedding during my Peace Corps days in Morocco takes the cake. How many wedding guests can say they slept with the bride on her wedding night?

We had long since arrived, in sparkling caftans, with henna-decorated hands. The bride had been paraded through the village, to much ululation. After endless courses of the feast, mint tea flowed from silver pots into lovely glasses. We nibbled melt-in-your-mouth date-and-almond cookies.

The men were outside, partying harder. Too hard, it turned out. Suddenly there was consternation. Someone had fallen off the roof! We were out in the country. The groom had the best man's car. He disappeared. We spent a restless night. As a guest of honor, I shared the bride's banquette.

The next morning, while we were having soup, the groom returned. The man who fell had only broken a finger. The wedding started up again. There were two more days to go. I can't remember where I slept the next night.

-- Lauren Kirk, Alexandria

LOVE PREVAILS

The bride was older and wiser than her 29-year-old groom. An only child, he had backed out of the nuptials the preceding year to pacify his aging parents. He was the lifeline for his elderly father and frail mother -- their chauffer, accountant, handyman and gofer. They feared "losing" him to his fiancee, despite her generosity, devotion to their son and pledge to help care for them. But she was patient, and finally love triumphed.

On the wedding day, the bride and groom gazed adoringly at one other as 250 friends and relatives filled the church. "Do you take this woman," began the pastor. At that moment, the groom's father collapsed, ashen. Instead of the happy couple proceeding down the aisle, the paramedics rushed out with a gurney and a prostrate patient. Red lights flashed upon the congregation as the wedding went into fast-forward. "I do," repeated the couple before running down the aisle and climbing into the ambulance. Five years and a grandchild later, the anxious in-laws live next door to the happy couple, and count their "daughter" as one of life's greatest blessings.

-- Susan G. Larson, Annapolis

BUG OFF

The sun was shining brightly the day of my daughter's outdoor wedding. While taking pictures, no one was paying much attention to anything except smiling faces. Suddenly, my daughter started yelling and hopping around. Insects too numerous to count had appeared all over the tulle bottom of her dress and were crawling toward the top. Everyone frantically started whipping up the layers of tulle and removing the insects. (A groomsman commented her dress looked like mosquito netting -- he is still alive.)

Crisis resolved, we made our way to the reception. As my daughter waited outside the glass-enclosed reception area, she suddenly screamed and pulled her dress up above her head, shouting that something was munching on her leg. Then we heard whistling, cheering and shouts of "more." Everyone at the wedding then knew her "something blue" was her underwear.

-- Ginger Fitzpatrick, Jessup

BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS

At my sister-in-law's wedding, a fire truck arrived as the reception was kicking off. It seems that Charlie, brother of the father of the bride, was just out of the hospital for cancer treatment and had a heart attack. Everyone agreed we had to do what we could not to ruin the wedding festivities. So in the honored tradition of an Irish-Italian wedding we knocked the party up a notch or two. As the hall tried to close down for the night, the DJ refused to quit playing. The staff turned up the lights, and when that didn't work they turned them all off. We all grabbed what shoes and clothes we could find in the dark and finally left. It seems Uncle Charlie had promised to make it to the wedding if it killed him; it had. -- F.R. (Joe) Call III, Fairfax

THE COUNTDOWN

It was New Year's Eve, and we piled into a rented ballroom decorated with Christmas trees. We mingled, drinking cocktails and serving ourselves at the food stations. After the ballroom filled up, the bride and groom had their first dance. Then they cut the cake. Next, the bride threw her flowers. The evening was going in reverse. A lady came up to me and asked, "What is going on here? I am so confused!" We all felt that way. But soon we started to figure it out.

Right before midnight, the father of the bride walked his daughter down a "path" to the stage where the groom and minister were waiting. They started professing their vows and at the stroke of midnight, they kissed. It was the first and only backward wedding I have ever attended, and it stands out in my mind!

-- Suzanne Radl McDonnell, Alexandria