In Spain, Tapas for Two

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: Failing to take a closer look at our food dictionary. In a restaurant in Madrid we ordered a plate of orejas (pig's ears) when we meant to order oreja de mar (abalone). Barbecued pig's ear can look a great deal like seared seafood, until you bite into a piece and the hairs tickle the back of your throat.

CULTURAL FAUX PAS: Tipping 20 percent at restaurants. Waiters in Spain are almost indifferent to tips, and diners rarely leave more than loose change -- usually rounding up the bill to the nearest dollar. Convincing yourself that you're not a cheapskate by leaving only a few coins is harder than it sounds.

MOST WORTHWHILE TREK OFF THE BEATEN PATH: Goya is buried on the outskirts of Madrid. Seeing his tomb and his recently restored frescoes above is a sobering experience for any fan of the Spanish artist.

SILLIEST/MOST TOURISTY THING THAT TURNED OUT TO BE FUN: Rowboat rentals at Retiro Park in Madrid. The duck-infested lake is full of romantic Madridians lazily drifting under the sun. If you haven't yet fallen in love with the laid-back, unhurried lifestyle of Spain, a few minutes here will do the trick.

SILLIEST/MOST TOURISTY THING THAT TURNED OUT TO BE SOUR: The very popular and much-hyped Salvador Dali museum in Figueres. More like a funhouse than a museum, it's difficult to navigate, overcrowded and noisy. Dali may be smiling at the numbers who flock here, but we left with headaches.

DO IT AGAIN? En un latido del corazón [in a heartbeat].

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