The Bind Forced on Parents of the Mentally Ill

"Maybe the Kennedys couldn't foresee their son shooting up a police station," Rugel says. "But if they left guns in an easily opened locked box and he's talking about killing himself, then you have a potential civil liability. If you know you should do something and you don't do it, you're asking for trouble."

Here's where things really get crazy. Here's where a parent's natural desire to help a child clashes with the law, which actually pushes some parents to endanger their own child. Because the law prevents authorities from treating the mentally ill against their will unless the person poses an immediate danger, parents often find themselves in Earley's predicament. Earley, who has written a book, "Crazy: A Father's Search Through America's Mental Health Madness," got away with a simple lie. For many parents, the choice is far more wrenching.

"Sometimes the parent's care for the child, even an adult child, is all that is preventing the child from falling below the line where he can be committed," Rugel says. "So there are cases where I recommend to the parent to leave the house. Go away and see what happens. Prove that the child is incapable of caring for himself. Maybe the child will commit a crime. Often there's no other way to get the evidence necessary for commitment.

"It's all rather sad, for everyone involved."

Even though his son, now 27, has been working and functioning well, Earley asks, "How do I get to a point where if my son is laughing, I don't worry that he's gone off his meds? It's unbelievable what this does to parents."

Somewhere in hiding, the Kennedy parents are in pain and shock. If they ever end up before a jury, their decision to keep guns in the house "would no doubt cause them some trouble," says Jonathan Stanley, assistant director of the Treatment Advocacy Center, an Arlington-based group that pushes for legal reforms to make it easier to treat the mentally ill.

"And from a moral standpoint, I would expect someone in that situation to take extra precautions. But this shouldn't be about blame. The only blame here is that we don't change the laws to get people some help."

E-mail:marcfisher@washpost.com