Congress -- All It Ever Thinks About Is Sex

Congress is the legislative body that deals with the nation's priorities. The learned members have their choice of voting on the budget, homeland security, Iraq and, this week, "same-sex marriage."

The subject is so important that nobody is accepting rides on private planes so they can stay in Washington to debate the issue.

Same-sex marriage affects every man and woman in the United States. It divides the conservatives and the liberals. It lines up the homosexual factions against heterosexuals.

President Bush has decided to deal with it by having a congressional amendment spelling out that marriage is between a man and a woman.

It's a tough amendment to get through, but it has good aspects, too. It makes people forget about Iraq and Afghanistan, the budget deficit, hurricanes and gas prices.

A spokesman for the amendment, who believes in the sanctity of the family, said, "If Congress doesn't deal with the subject, gay marriage will be rampant in the country and a sacred institution will no longer be sacred."

I said, "Congress has been trying to get an amendment to ban same-sex marriage for years. The subject always comes up when things aren't going very well in the Bush White House."

He replied, "It is not a political issue."

"Then what is it?"

"It is a moral issue. And moral issues have to do with God."

I said, "I'm a heterosexual -- some would say a flaming one. At the same time, I'm not against two people of the same sex being in love."

He replied, "Congress has the authority to declare who can be in love and who can't. That's what our forefathers said they wanted.