Artsy Hotel Raises the Barre

By a carved column of dark ebony, comedians Amy Saidman and Natasha Rothwell theatrically complained yesterday, throwing up their hands like prima donnas, while bellhops improvised ways to calm them.

As she ran her finger over her chest flirtatiously, Rothwell stage-whispered in a low, breathy drawl, "I could stay longer than three nights."

Amid the hoots and whistles of the watching employees, bellhop Wendell Williams said, in absolute deadpan, "That won't be possible, ma'am."

Previously employed in a hotel dining room, "but never the front desk," the Improv's artistic director, Mark Chalfant, now captains the troupe's corporate events team. "We went out to Las Vegas to do some work for the MGM Grand staff and we did get to stay in the MGM. . . . I haven't hit up the Palomar for a room yet," he said. Why on Earth not? "Last time I was here it was all exposed concrete. I had no idea it would be so sexy."

"Sexy," apparently, is cold marble tile giving way to dark wood or limestone walls, with framed chunks of coral set in recessed, lighted boxes. A freestanding glass sculpture in the middle of the room is covered with those smiling and frowning drama masks.

Or, as Orlando described it: "We're as minimalistic as possible to allow the guests to experience art. So our lobby is discreet and philosophical."

Looking around the lobby, ballet master Webre explained what he saw to his students: "The theatrical experience is going to have a beginning . . . when the curtain goes up and the lights go on. This is that beginning."

Orlando agreed with Webre's vision: "Art starts at the curb when the bellman opens the door."

And so Webre Pied-Pipered a thin line of bellboys out to P Street, where they practiced opening the heavy glass doors. A van painted with the logo Trash Masters Inc. slowed to ogle him praising one employee for "a good welcome gesture" but chastising his "much, much too small a guiding gesture."

While the other bellhops clumped into the lobby to practice how to properly pick up a piece of luggage, Green sashayed out to the curb, where an SUV had just pulled up. He unloaded a trunkful of matching bags onto a brassy service cart and opened the plate-glass door for one of the hotel's first guests.

"Welcome," he said, smiling broadly as he bent in a bit of a plie.