Settling Parent-School Spats

A similar problem occurred sophomore year in an Advanced Placement American history class. The teacher dropped Ryan's grade from a 96 to an 86 because of absences caused by illness. He said class participation was important and Ryan had to exert more effort to be there, but he continued to praise Ryan's work and the student's grade did improve.

The Gellises sought a mediation hearing with the school district in June 2004 and the mediator persuaded the school to restore most of the points lost in the freshman English class because of Ryan's absences. But Cipriani said the district refused to restore points for a quiz Ryan had missed because he was given several opportunities to make it up. Because of that, Cipriani said, the Gellises refused to sign the agreement and went to administrative court. Carrie Gellis said Ryan was not given enough time to make up the quiz.

I would have advised the Gellises to take what the mediator gave them and try to get Ryan accustomed to dealing directly with his teachers and asking what he can do to make up for his absences. But as often happens in such cases, the family had a great deal of time and emotion invested in the fight and it was impossible for them to back down.

Carrie Gellis said one of her concerns was that the lower grades might affect Ryan's grade point average, and his rank in his class, when colleges began to make decisions about who they would take from Brick Township High. I would have told her that a student that smart was going to get into a good college and that she should stop worrying about whether he is 6th or 15th in his class.

I would have also advised him to take the AP exams at the end of the AP history class and his junior year AP English course, since good grades on those independently written and scored exams would have removed, at least in the colleges' eyes, whatever bad impression a mediocre grade from a teacher would have created. Ryan and Carrie Gellis said no one recommended this to them, which suggests bad advice from the school.

Hopefully this will all fade away, and Ryan, as he gets older, will become more able to act on his own without his parents support, and make his own decisions in these matters. I suspect some colleges will be impressed with his good work and good humor despite his poor health, but some will wonder about all these grading protests.

That doesn't bother Ryan. Like his parents, he says that principles are important. I suspect he will have a very interesting and successful life, and if he chooses law school, will be a whiz.

But I can't shake the feeling that a few friendly conversations with someone who did not work for school district, whose only job was to suggest ways around this hurt and confusion, would have helped. Maybe by the time The Post finally escorts me out of the building, there will be some volunteer assignments like that ready for me, and I can give good families like the Gellises more time to talk to each other, rather than to administrative judges.