I'm in the White Business
This just in: The Associated Press Sports Editors, a group of sports editors from around the nation, commissioned a study to see how diverse newspaper sports staffs are, and, well . . .
We're whiter than Newt Gingrich's Fourth of July barbecue.
In particular, the sports editors themselves are distinctly men of non-color.
In fact, there might not be a less diversified group of paunchy, balding, middle-aged white guys anywhere in America.
Incidentally -- this also just in -- there aren't too many women running sports departments, either. Frankly, you've got a better chance of becoming a sports editor if you are a pink carnation than if you are black and female.
The study's director, Richard Lapchick of the Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sports at the University of Central Florida, surveyed 305 newspapers, of which four had black sports editors. Lapchick unveiled these numbers at the recent APSE convention to a group of, well, mostly white sports editors.
(The APSE convention was held in Las Vegas, prompting the nation's largest escort fleet to work double shifts. Las Vegas marketing slogan: "What happens here, stays here." APSE version: "What happens here, stays here -- and we'll expense it!!!")
(I know I shouldn't bite the hand that feeds me, but what the heck, if I've got to go back to microwaving spam for dinner, so be it.)
Uh, four out of 305? That sounds like Gilbert Gottfried's hit rate at a singles bar. Four African American sports editors? Are you trying to tell me that, in all of America -- which has almost 300 million living souls -- there are only four black people who can say, "Yeah, we need two credentials for the Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic?"
I actually know one of them pretty well -- Garry D. Howard of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, which carries my column.
I noticed Howard was black the first time we met, largely because of his skin color. But once I got by that -- and it did take me a while to get by that, because when someone is that dark, it just throws you -- I realized he spoke English somewhat satisfactorily, understood sports and journalism reasonably well and could eat an entire meal without spitting out his food.
There's got to be more of him out there somewhere.