I'm in the White Business

But for some reason, newspapers -- which flash a critical light on every other industry that lags in diversity -- usually aren't looking for black people, or claim they can't locate them. It might help if, say, they went into a black neighborhood once in a while. As a rule, that's where you'll find black people.

"It's 2006, it's supposed to be a lot better," Howard said. "It's at the point where it's embarrassing. But if they're so embarrassed, they would do something to change it. . . . The same people are doing the hiring and they're not looking for anything different than they've done in the past."

(I sure hope I'm not misquoting Howard, because if I am, by next week my column is out and NASCAR Sudoku is in.)

(By the way, it's not just sports editors that are all white. Sports columnists, too. Most every other columnist looks like me, which is not a good thing on many levels.)

Anyway, how do you solve this problem?

I've heard the arguments over the years -- "we can't find qualified minority candidates blah blah blah." Oh, really? Well I've read your sports pages and you're certainly finding unqualified non -minority candidates. So how hard is it to find unqualified minority candidates?

They freed the slaves in 1863 -- I'm sure it was in all the papers -- so these people, from what I understand, are FREE to work. Even in managerial positions.

So I stand here today -- actually, I'm sitting -- asking newspaper powers-that-be to take a chance on a black person as a sports editor. After all, what's the worst thing that can happen -- circulation declines?

Ask The Slouch

---

Q. I am 10 years old. My father and I watched the Tour de France last year and now I don't understand what this "blood doping" is. (Marc Diamond; Bethesda)

A. Blood doping is the process of elevating red blood cell levels in the bloodstream, which increases the amount of oxygen delivered to the muscles. It is common among top cyclists and "SportsCenter" anchors.

Q. If the House and Senate pass a tough immigration reform bill, will an American finally make the leader board at an LPGA event? (John Jajoca; Milwaukee)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

Q. When J.J. Redick signs his deal with Orlando, will the contract contain a provision that Dick Vitale must be the TV analyst for all his games? (Bruce Canty; Herndon)

A. Pay this man too, Shirley.

Q. I've found rooting for the Pirates in 2006 is similar to rooting for the Steelers in 2004 -- every week you get to celebrate a victory. (Fred Brewer; Hermitage, Pa.)

A. One more, Shirley (one-time exception for non-question).

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. E-mail asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!