Parent Issue: To Spy or Not

For parents of teens and preteens, the Web can be a scary world. How can you protect your child from online excesses?

First, discuss your concerns with your child, inviting his or her thoughts as well, advises Anton Trinidad, medical director of inpatient services at George Washington University Hospital's Department of Psychiatry. Kidshealth.org, a leading health promotion site for children, teens and parents, also recommends telling your child how to recognize and avoid harmful content and asking that he or she share information that is disturbing.

Computer monitoring software, says Trinidad, should be a fallback option only. "[Spying] is never a good idea," he said, since it represents a breakdown in trust and sends a message to your child that spying is acceptable. Only if the child is at risk of self-harm should parents rely on spy software, he warns.

Child-protection software features range from simple Web site filtering (blocking access to sites) to digital surveillance of nearly every computer activity, including e-mailing, chatting, messaging, Web surfing and file swapping, right down to the keystroke. Parents who prefer security features without the espionage may choose a simple Web filter or software that controls the amount of time your child spends online, says Michael Miller, a columnist for PC magazine.

Here's a sampling of programs available to block the bad stuff:

? Bare Bones

K9 Web Protection by Blue Coat. Free downloadable program offers Web filtering but doesn't let you track your kid's online activities. http://www.k9webprotection.com/

? Economy

CYBERsitter 9.0 by Solid Oak Software. Web filtering, online-only monitoring for $39.95. http://www.cybersitter.com/ Safe Eyes by SafeBrowse.com. Web filtering, online-only monitoring, time controls for $39.95. http://www.safeeyes.com/

? Cadillac

Spector Pro 5.0 by SpectorSoft. Web filtering, online and offline monitoring for $99.95. http://www.spectorsoft.com/

These products are intended for supervising children under 18. Various local, state and federal laws prohibit employing them on adults, according to software4parents.com, a retailer of monitoring software.

-- Jeffrey G. Ghassemi