Mom Turns Own Tragedy Into Career Of Advocacy

Lisa Spicknall, a domestic violence advocate for the Prince George's County Sherrif's Office, helps domestic violence victims through the court process. (By Linda Davidson -- The Washington Post)

Inside her tiny office in the Upper Marlboro courthouse, Lisa Spicknall is poised, solicitous and knowledgeable as she counsels victims of domestic violence who are anxiously wading into the Prince George's County legal system.

A domestic violence victim's advocate for the Office of the Sheriff, Spicknall also is unflinchingly direct: She tells clients that a protective order isn't a guarantee of safety.

Spicknall knows.

In September 1999, her then-husband, Richard W. Spicknall II, picked up their two children, Richie, 2, and Destiny, 3, from the Anne Arundel County home of Lisa's parents. Spicknall had said he was taking the kids to Ocean City. He fatally shot the children not far from a bridge over the Choptank River on Maryland's Eastern Shore.

Lisa Spicknall had a protective order against Richard. The order should have prevented him from buying a gun, but a clerical error allowed him to buy the handgun used in the shootings from a pawnshop in Prince George's.

During Richard Spicknall's trial, Lisa collapsed into sobs and ran screaming from the courtroom when prosecutors played an audiotape of him explaining to police why he shot Richie and Destiny.

Now, Lisa Spicknall, 31, confidently accompanies domestic abuse victims to court to provide emotional backup. She calmly fields late-night phone calls from victims panicked over whether they should leave an abusive partner. She delivers direct, heart-rending speeches about her own experience, presentations that bring many who hear her -- including some state judges -- to tears.

"It's very empowering work," Spicknall said in an interview. "There's bad days. There's bad cases that bring you back to where you were. I look at this as turning negative energy into positive energy."

Duchy Trachtenberg, president of Maryland's National Organization for Women chapter, has seen Spicknall speak several times, though she doesn't know her personally.

Of Spicknall, Trachtenberg said: "The most effective activism is often born out of personal experience. I think she's a good example of that."

"Those kids were her life. To lose them in that shocking way is more than most parents would be able to absorb," said Carole Alexander, executive director of House of Ruth Maryland, a domestic violence center that provides shelter, advocacy and other services for battered women.

"She clearly took the grief and turned it toward a higher purpose," Alexander said.