By Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts
Thursday, July 6, 2006

No Garrett Park event is complete without someone upset about something, and the Fourth of July was no exception. This year's fracas? A pig roast and nearly naked protester.

The tiny Montgomery County town's Citizens Association carefully planned a wonderful Independence Day: the two-mile fun run and walk, a morning parade led by the Kensington Fire Department, Popsicles for the kids, live music, a belly-flop contest and softball game. And to top off the celebration, a free evening picnic with pork barbecue and smoked salmon.

The barbecue was originally described as a "pig roast," which caused a few people to object on religious grounds that smelling or seeing a pig roasting was offensive. Matt Stavish , co-president of the association, sent off a letter to his neighbors last week: "We apologize for the offense and will prepare the meat at a private residence rather than at the tennis courts as originally planned. Just our effort to 'put a little lipstick on that pig.' We apologize for any misunderstanding and distress to GP residents. Our goal is simply to provide a night of fun and camaraderie, and we hope everyone will feel welcome to attend."

Problem solved? Hah! A year-long resident of the town, Innis Phillips , protested the pig roast by walking along the parade route Tuesday morning wearing only an apron, a dish towel and an apple in his mouth. Police were summoned; Phillips was not arrested. "A few people were offended by the pig," said Stavish. "Many more were offended by the protest."

"Why can't anything be simple and uncomplicated?" sighed Carolyn Shawaker, mayor of the liberal community of about 1,000. "Several people have talked to me and are very upset. Children got an awfully good view of his anatomy."

Resident Molly Shuck , a mother of four, said she supports Phillips's right to an opinion but not his costume: "Be a pig in pants. There's no reason to be naked."

Phillips, trained as a potter and now a stay-at-home dad, said yesterday that he wasn't trying to be a flasher and deliberately wore a red apron in front with a dish towel tucked and stapled to the back apron strings. "As someone who has done performance art, I wanted to dress appropriately for what I was trying to say."

The 53-year-old said he's sorry if he upset his neighbors and just wanted the picnic to be more inclusive. "If I were going to give a party at my house for a lot of people, I would make sure it had food everybody would enjoy." And no, he's not a vegetarian: "I actually eat pork."

But he didn't go to the barbecue, which went off without incident, without power, but with clothes. More than 100 people showed up for the candlelight feast and live musicians. Can't wait for next year!

The Uptown Theater and "Superman Returns " battled more than Lex Luthor last week.

On opening day, the historic Cleveland Park theater blew a fuse before the show and sent disappointed matinee fans into the streets. On Saturday, the afternoon crowd was on the edge of its seats as Lois Lane , her young son and her boyfriend were trapped inside a sinking yacht . . . then the screen turned into a blob of yellow, and a voice in the dark said ominously, "Short delay . . . technical difficulties." Turns out the film snapped in two; unhappy audience members got vouchers for another screening.

Same day, three hours later: The date-night crowd endured a 35-minute delay, an extended intermission to change reels, and an overheated auditorium.

An AMC spokeswoman says heat and humidity caused the film to warp, thus the problems. By Sunday, replacement reels had arrived to let "Superman" once again fly high.