The Man Upstairs Is in the House

(David Sanders - AP)

The House is calling this "values" week. In legislative output, it could be labeled "low-value" week, but that wouldn't give the chamber credit for other measures it is taking up, such as H.R. 4962, the "Captain George A. Wood Post Office Building Designation Act."

Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-Colo.), sponsor of the marriage amendment, used that logic to justify debate on her doomed bill. "Members of Congress are capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time," she asserted. "Where are those who say we are wasting time when we are renaming post offices and federal buildings?"

Nobody had the heart to point out that post-office namings usually pass.

Not that proponents necessarily cared about passage. When Musgrave gave her passionate closing speech, floor leader Jack Kingston (R-Ga.) struggled to stifle a yawn. When a voice vote was held and the speaker declared that the amendment had passed, it was Kingston, not the Democrats, who demanded a recorded vote -- assuring defeat.

Even some of those who supported the legislation in principle found the timing a bit suspect.

"I'll be voting for the amendment," allowed Rep. Bob Inglis (R-S.C.). "I've got questions, though: Why now? Why this amendment?"

Rep. Lincoln Davis (D-Tenn.) said he was a co-sponsor of the amendment and ultimately voted for it, but not before he chided: "I'm deeply troubled that some may be using this amendment to score political points with their base. Why else would we be voting for an amendment that has no chance of becoming law since the Senate has already rejected it?"

At least a dozen lawmakers offered variations of that complaint, and Republican leaders were beginning to sound defensive. "This isn't a frivolous exercise," Kingston protested, citing terrorism, the Middle East and "the Appropriations Committee, which has passed nine out of, excuse me, 11 of its, excuse me, 10 of its appropriations bills."

Others sidestepped the relevance question.

"Marriage is not about love," volunteered Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.), who noted his 31 years of matrimony. "It's about a love that can bear children."

"The world did not start with Adam and Steve," Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.) told reporters.

Gingrey, the floor leader/gynecologist, posited that the debate was "about values and how this great country represents them to the world." After the vote, he elaborated: "This is probably the best message we can give to the Middle East in regards to the trouble we are having over there right now."

So that was it: The marriage debate wasn't about amending the Constitution; it was about quieting Hezbollah.