May December?
No, you may not

By Gene Weingarten
Sunday, August 13, 2006

First, the news broke that supermodel Christie Brinkley's marriage had blown up over her husband's affair with a teenager. Minutes later, I got a call from my friend Gina Barreca. Gina, an expert on feminist theory, seemed a little upset.

Gina: This is every middle-aged woman's fear. If Christie Brinkley at 52 can't hold on to her husband, the rest of us can just hang it up. No married woman can ever feel safe again.

Gene: But . . .

Gina: . . . Every time we try to convince ourselves that the human male cannot possibly be as shallow as we fear he is, something like this happens. When this guy met the girl, she was 17. When he bedded her, she was 18. I strongly suspect this was not a relationship based on mutual intellectual stimulation. When an interviewer asked her what she said when Christie's husband first propositioned her, her answer was, and I am quoting directly from the transcript: "I was like, 'Uh, I dunno.'"

That's what you guys want?

Gene: Can we discuss this in a reasonable, dispassionate manner?

Gina: We can.

Gene: Don't you think a case can be made that this was not entirely the husband's fault?

Gina: I beg your pardon?

Gene: When a man marries a woman, and then she gets older, she is physically no longer the woman he married. I mean, you expected one thing, you entered into a legal covenant for one thing, and then a few years down the pike you find yourself with something quite different. In a sense, isn't this a little like . . . bait and switch?

Gina: WHAT?

Gene: Kidding, kidding. I just wanted to see how large the typeface was going to be.

Gina:

Gene: Obviously, I am in your corner here. This man is puke. But would you agree this is not about infidelity so much as the age differential in a romance? Marriages can sour. Needs can go unfilled. Partners of both sexes cheat, and not every one of them is necessarily an evil person. In this case, it is about the ages, right?

Gina: Yes.

Gene: So, how young is, prima facie, too young?

Gina: Obviously, that depends on how old the man is.

Gene: Well, say the man is me.

Gina: And you are . . . ?

Gene: Fifty-four.

Gina: What age woman do you think is old enough?

Gene: Maybe . . . 23?

Gina:

Gene: I mean a very mature 23.

Gina: Put your wife on the phone.

Gene: Twenty-seven.

Gina:

Gene: Thirty, and she's, like, a doctor.

Gina:

Gene: Thirty-five.

Gina:

Gene: Thirty-five, with a child from a previous relationship.

Gina:

Gene: Several children.

Gina:

Gene: Thirty-eight, and she's a widow. The poor thing has gone through hell.

Gina:

Gene: Forty, and she's my boss.

Gina:

Gene: C'mon, Gina, have a heart!

Gina:

Gene: Forty-five.

Gina: Congratulations. You're in the ballpark. At the very least, you need someone who shares your cultural references. Someone who knows, say, your music.

Gene: That's ridiculous. I could learn to like Eating Pumpkins, or whatever crap they listen to.

Gina: You seem to believe that, to a man of middle age, there is something more desirable in having a substantially younger romantic partner. You do not believe there is something fundamentally disreputable in this?

Gene: When Joe Torre starting dating his wife, he was 41 and she was 23. Everyone loves Joe Torre, even people who hate the Yankees. There is nothing disreputable about Joe Torre!

Gina: That's a pathetic argument.

Gene: Okay, it is.

Gina:

Gene: Listen, if a man categorically eliminates young women as potential romantic partners, he is guilty of blatant age discrimination. That is unconscionable. I'm surprised that you, as a feminist and a humanist and an American, would condone it.

Gina:

Gene: Okay, that's pathetic.

Gene Weingarten's e-mail address is weingarten@washpost.com.

Chat with him online Tuesdays at noon at www.washingtonpost.com.